Holiday Tomance - ON HOLD

Thinking time

I must have sat for an hour or two alone watching some rubbish afternoon TV before I ordered dinner. I ordered Chinese and it was delivered by the same driver who had delivered my first meal here with Tom.

"Alright Darling, you and Tom not eating together tonight? You two had a falling out?" I looked at him confused while riffling through the change in my purse. "I have just delivered his usual to him next door and now delivering to you, thought you two were an item?"

"We were, I mean we are. I mean, um we don't stay together all the time and we both must have just fancied a Chinese. Couples are allowed to spend time away from each other, it's healthy in fact and you would know that if you were to have a proper relationship with someone and not still live with your Mother." I grabbed my bag of food, chucked the money at him and slammed the door.

I went over to my table and sat down to eat taking in the aroma of the finally fully blossomed yellow roses in front of me. I looked out of my diner window and saw Tom in his van. There he was in his kitchen, topless as is usual when he is relaxing. He didn't look up and I didn't want him too. I wasn't ready to acknowledge him yet so I closed my curtains. As much as a part of me was screaming to get over there I knew that Shirley was right and we both just needed time apart to think things over.

I spent the next few days focussing on getting my book finished and over to the publishers as well as napping on and off. Without Tom here the nights just seemed colder, longer and lonelier making it harder for me to sleep. I needed all the money I could get over the next few months if I was going to be a single Mum so my book was a priority while I had some down time. At least I knew I had a job here, that is if I decided to stay. Who knows? Tom may even ask me to leave and I wouldn't blame Shirley if she kept him on instead of me, even though I would like to think that it wouldn't come to that.

Finally though after 5 days at home resting up it was time for me to go back to work. Shirley and I had decided that it was best I go to the cafe until Tom and I had spoken as we knew it was the place that he was least likely to visit. I woke up on that first morning back knowing that I would now have to leave the safety of my little van. While resting up I had ordered a few bits to make the van feel a bit more homely. Some little canvases for the walls, a few cushions for the sofa and some new bedding too. I also ordered a pregnancy test and needed to do it this morning as I was now officially 2 days late. Although I knew the bloods were highly unlikely to be wrong I just knew I needed to do one for my own piece of mind.

I sat on the toilet with the little pink and white stick in my hand staring down at the window waiting for it to confirm what I already knew to be true. It didn't take too long for the 2 little lines to appear and a wave of sickness to hit me. I knew this wasn't morning sickness though, this was anxiety.

I did what I needed to do in the van and made sure I was ready to get to my shift for 8am. It was raining and chilly this morning so I threw on my big thick black parka and pulled my hood up hoping that I wouldn't bump into Tom as I made my way to the front of the site. I arrived with a few minutes to spare and as was becoming the norm for this time of year, it was empty.

The first few hours of my first shift back in the cafe went quite quickly and then just after 11am I saw him. Tom was walking towards the cafe, head down against the rain. I panicked. I wasn't ready for this and Shirley could sense my nerves. "Why don't you go and start cleaning down out the back? I'll sort it." I nodded and went to the back but still within earshot. "Alright Tom? What can I get you?"

"Just the usual please Shirl, to go though please. Don't fancy sticking around today. Have you seen Y/N at all? I noticed her van was empty as I walked past." Tom sounded a little worried but if he was that worried then he would have knocked and checked on me wouldn't he?

"I'll sort that for you now Tom and no she isn't at the van, she is out the back working. You two need to sort yourselves out. I am not going to be acting as a go between for the pair of you. Now you young man need to decide if you want to tell this girl you love her and discuss your future with her and your baby or are you going to put her out of her misery and let her get on with being a single Mum. Which is it to be Thomas?" Shirley used the name Thomas instead of Tom, she must have meant business.

I could see through the gaps in the units. Tom shook his head at Shirley as he grabbed his food and stormed out. It was starting to look more and more likely that it was just going to be me and baby.

TOM'S POV

Shirley was right. These were my consequences of my actions as well as hers and I needed to decide what it is that I was going to do. I had completed all my work for the day as I started at 6am this morning due to not being able to sleep without her yet again so I did what I always did when I needed to think.

I went back to my van and got into my wetsuit, grabbed my board and hit the waves now that the rain was easing. As I got down onto the beach there was a family sat having a picnic in the boot of a little camper van. The Mum was sat with a little boy no older than 2 and the Dad was getting ready to surf. As I watched them a light went off. If I loved Y/N then I needed to tell her, I needed to be there. This family could one day be us.

I couldn't let her go through this on her own, not after what Bobby had done to her. I am such an idiot, she must be terrified that she is going to lose this baby too and I was only adding to the unnecessary stress that she needed to avoid. What the hell was I playing at?

I turned around and ran back to my van, I had seriously fucked up and needed to sort things. I needed to sort things now before it was too late.