Holiday Tomance - ON HOLD

Tell me all

As the taxi pulled up into the campsite I directed the driver straight to my Caravan. I didn't know what to expect, whether or not Tom would be there or even if his stuff would be. All I knew was that I didn't want to bump into Shirley just yet, I needed a few hours to process things myself before telling others.

The taxi dropped me off right outside of my van and the driver was even kind enough to help me with my bags. Just as I thought though, when I entered it was quiet and empty. No Tom. There was a note for me though stuck to the kitchen cupboard door as I walked in. It read; I love you but I can't do this.

I went to the bedroom and noticed he had taken a few of his clothes but left some too. At least it meant he would be back at some point. I got into bed and gripped the pillow that still smelt of his new aftershave, Sauvage, and cried myself to sleep. Next thing I knew I was being woken by banging at my front door. I leapt out of bed and ran to answer in the vain hope that it was Tom back already to fix things. It was Shirley.

"How are you doing my love? Tom mentioned when he came by that there was a chance that you were being discharged today. Where is he? I would have thought that he would have been here looking after you."

That was all that I needed to start the tears freely flowing again. "Shirley, he's left me. He's taken some of his things and gone but I don't know where he has gone." I passed Shirley the note he had left for me and flicked the kettle on.

"Oh my god, what on earth has happened? He didn't tell me anything when he came by a few hours ago. Just said that he thought that you were being discharged and he had some things he needed to do. I think you need to sit down and tell me all, don't you?"

I nodded and finished making us both a drink before making my way over to the sofa to unload on Shirley. "So Tom didn't tell you anything at all as to why he wasn't with me?" Shirley sipped from her mug and shook her head at me. "Well, I am not too sure where to start to be honest with you." I took a deep breath and started at the best place to start, the beginning.

"As you are aware Tom and I have been sleeping together since I first got here. There's no secret to that and things have been going really well between us, we've been inseparable, or so I thought." Shirley looked confused but stayed quiet. "Well, it turns out that I am pregnant and Tom's the Dad. The doctor told us and all Tom said was I can't do this. I can't be a Dad. We've known each other 3 weeks. And then left me. He left me alone to deal with what I had just been told after everything I told him about my past. After everything I went through with Bobby."

Shirley reached over and placed a hand on my knee. "So he knows all about Bobby and the baby then? I wasn't sure as to whether you had told him or not, not my place to ask but I am pleased to hear you have been open with him. Did he not say anything else or say where he was going?"

"No, not a dicky bird. Some of his clothes have gone but not all of them and obviously he gave you the key to his van back so I honestly have no clue as to where he is staying."

"What do you mean he gave his key back? He tried to hand his key back but I told him to keep it until the end of the season just in case things went tits up or either of you needed space."

"He never told me that bit Shirl. Do you think I should go over there or do I give him time and wait for him to come to me?" I asked Shirley before taking a gulp of my tea and looking over at his currently empty van.

"I think you should both take some time. Think about what it is that you want and see if where you want to go is the same for the both of you. What do you think that you want to do? Do you think that you want to keep it? I will let you stay and work here for as long as you need, I do want you to take the next few days off and rest up still though. Do you hear me? Rest up and try not to stress while you think about your options."

"I already know what I am going to do. I'm not getting rid of it and if Tom doesn't want to know then I suppose I will lose him but I can't go through the pain of losing another baby. It would destroy me especially if it was through my own choosing. Either Tom wants us both or he gets neither."

"Well my love, you have a job here and when baby comes along I can do a few hours sitting here and there for you and you could always have a Moses basket or bouncer in the change booth in the arcade. We'll sort it. That is if you wanted to stay here." I couldn't help but feel touched by what Shirley was saying and started fighting back the tears. "I'm gonna go and let you have a bit of time to settle back in and take in the news. You know where I am if you need me and make sure you eat something please."

I nodded as Shirley stood up. I stood up too to see her out and she embraced me in the most maternal hug I had ever felt from someone. My own Mother included. "Thank you Shirley. For everything, I mean it."

"You are more than welcome sweetheart. Just make sure that baby calls me Auntie Shirley, alright?" I laughed and nodded my agreement as Shirley left, leaving me alone with my own thoughts and feelings once again.