13 Reasons Why

Cassette 04

JISOO

"So, ended on quite a sad note there huh? Well, what did you expect? These are the reasons I killed myself after all."

I heard Jennie trying to chuckle as if making a joke, but I noticed the sad undertone of the laugh. It was probably killing her twice as much to sit and explain this as it was for me to listen to it.

"But, back to the point, this tape is dedicated to my old soccer team - more directly the team captain, Kim Namjoon."

No surprise there.

Namjoon was the person who'd been in the lead the times I'd been bullied. He didn't do the dirty work, he just stands a few feet behind, directing every person to hurt the designated victim.

It was a very smart trick.

If the bullies were caught beating up someone, Namjoon could slowly tiptoe away without being noticed, so it didn't look like he did anything. And people wouldn't ever dare to put him to the teachers, because then they would get the next turn.

"As I mentioned I was a part of the high school soccer team. Until some unfortunate, very uncomfortable things happened, and those I will explain now. It's quite a long story and includes several people so the soccer team has been assigned three tapes in total."

Oh, they really must have done some screwed things to him to deserve three tapes.

"The day after Nayeon had visited my house, I went to school after having skipped school a couple of days of pure embarrassment and fright. But since my mom had practically forced me out of bed telling me I couldn't miss any more school, I had to. So, I went to school that day expecting the worst. And that's certainly what I got."

I had to try to stop letting my imagination take control of my brain before I heard the full story because what I imagined were some terrible things. But, what happened to him might as well be too.

"I went into the locker room before soccer practice hoping to just be ignored, but instead everyone stopped in their tracks and started glaring at me. They had planned out what would happen and what they would do when this time came because they all moved around the room to a certain spot resulting in them surrounding me. They stood in an unbreakable circle around me, Namjoon standing inside of it as well, looking disgustingly at me. I'm sure you remember what you said next Namjoon, don't you?

"You told me that you guys didn't want a disgusting, sickening, repulsive, criminal girl that didn't deserve the right to live on your team. Then you went on a rant about how gross I was and how nasty of a human being I was. I tried explaining for what seemed like the 50th time that week that I didn't do what Jongin had told the whole school, but like everyone else you didn't even bother to hear what I had to say.

"Seems like everybody just assumes that because I would rather be in a relationship with a girl than a boy, I find every female on this planet highly attractive. Let me break it to you now that I don't.

"I had my eye on someone else, I have had that for a long time. I could never do what you accused me of Namjoon."

The 'had my eye on someone else' was embarrassingly enough the thing that caught my attention the most. Of course, Namjoon was a dickhead and didn't at all deserve the life he had, but Jennie had a crush on someone. That someone being a girl. That at least increased my chances, right?

"But that didn't matter to you, did it? You went on for what seemed like hours about every little thing you thought was wroth me. It bruised my self-confidence with hard rocks, but I stood through it all. Not without letting a few tears slip here and there, but that didn't matter. I could see a couple of the students around me, the ones I used to be closest to, starting to feel bad, but did they do anything at all to help me in any way? No. Because I have the damn guts to stand up to the alpha. Which just confirmed for me how scared and how much of a pussy every one of you is.

"But I had taken it, and so far it had only been words. You had only verbally hurt me. I thought I could deal with that, but then. Then you became violent.

"Stay tuned for part two of this sick, terrible story... Or whatever."

And that ended in tape four. I couldn't help but agree with everything Jennie said. Because she was right. She said the damn truth. The one nobody had ever before dared to speak aloud. That just confirmed how brave of a girl she is, and made me nothing but adore her even more.

If that was even possible.

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Jennie said the truth about every damn gay person out there. Don't you think?