13 Reasons Why

Off tape 05

JISOO

Even though this was about Jennie, and she was the one that had to suffer from everything Jongin did to him, I couldn't help my shaky legs as we walked from the car to his front door.

Jennie was silent for most of the drive, but when I asked her a question she didn't seem nervous, so I guess that was a good sign.

Because Jongin had been down with depression the last while, I doubt he'd have anything mean to say to Jennie. He'd probably just think he was hallucinating or dreaming at first. Once he would realize that Jennie was standing in front of him, I'd have no clue whatsoever what he'd do.

We walked hand in hand, as always, towards the door. We reached the front door, and just as I was about to knock on it, Jennie reached her hand up and laid a finger under my chin. She turned my head towards her and leaned up to kiss my lips.

"I love you, "she said, with almost no strength in her voice.

Confused, but bubbling with happiness inside I answered, "I love you too."

She then nodded towards the door, and I knocked a short melody on the wooden front door. Within a few moments, a woman opened the door.

From my guess, she was in her early forties. She was a little short with shoulder-length blond hair. At first, when she saw us her eyes stayed a little longer on Jennie. She knew who she was and that she should be dead, but she was trying to play it cool.

"Hi, ma'am. I'm Jisoo, this is Jennie, "I motioned to Jennie and stretched my hand forward to shake hers.

She copied my actions and we shook hands as she nodded her head.

"What can I do for you girls?" She asked sweetly. She did seem like a nice person, in contrast to Jongin.

"We wanted to talk with Jongin..." I asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep anything.

"I'll see if he's awake, "she smiled nicely.

"You can come in, "She opened the door further before she turned and walked to what I was guessing was Jongin's room down the hall.

I could see Jennie was nervously tapping her shoes on the floor as we waited, so I took a hold of her hand and whispered, "It's alright."

It calmed her a little and she took a deep breath, inhaling for a very long time before exhaling.

Jongin's mom, who never mentioned her name, finally came back out of the room.

"He kind of panicked when I told her you guys were here, but I calmed him down and he's ready now, "She led us down the hall and into Jongin's room.

It was not at all what I expected to say the least. It was very black, and there were almost no things on the walls. The only things in the room were the furniture. It was boring, to be honest.

Jongin was sitting in his bed, the covers drawn up to his neck. His hair was messy, his eyes looked heavy and the skin under his eyes was very dark. He looked like he hadn't slept in three days.

The silence was thick in the room as neither Jennie nor Jongin spoke. Guess I'd have to do it then.

"Hi, Jongin, "I smiled kindly. As kindly as I could at least.

"Jennie, "he paid no attention to me since his eyes were staring at Jennie as she stood in the doorway of the room.

A few moments of complete silence go by before both Jongin and Jennie decide to speak.

"I'm sorry, "They said in unison.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Jongin immediately asked, genuinely confused.

"This, "Jennie motioned to Jongin in his bed. "What you are going through right now because of me, "she shrugged.

"No. This is completely my fault, and I'm only in this position because I put myself in it, "he said sternly.

Jennie nodded slowly. She knew he was right, but deep down she still had a feeling of guilt.

"I was an asshole. I did something awful and so, so, so wrong that I dare not talk about it, and I'm so sorry. I can't describe how bad I've felt because of what you went through just because I was mad at you for rejecting me. It wasn't even with a bad intention you did that, you were - you are - gay, and you can't control that. It's totally fine you are gay, and I admire you for coming out, but you only came out because I forced you to, and that's not fair of me."

His eyes were watering by now, and he was barely holding it together.

"Look, Jongin... what you did... was something that'll stick with me for the rest of my life. That wasn't okay, and what you probably thought was just something small made me want to kill myself. That's seriously messed up. The only reason I didn't..." she walked a little forward to where I was standing and intertwined her hand with mine.

"-Is Jisoo. But you - and I - was just lucky I had a reason to hold on to life. I could have killed myself, and god knows what you would do to yourself then. So, the only thing I have to say is that you need to think about what you do, and not be so damn selfish and full of yourself."

Jongin flinched at the hard words, but I thought he knew it was coming.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not okay to do stuff like that, and you have to learn that. If it's gonna help you from not being so sad, I'll forgive you, but just know that this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life probably just as much as it's gonna haunt you."

Jennie's eyes were glossy from the tears she was holding back now as well.

"I-I don't know what to say. You're right. In everything. And I can't explain to you how sorry I am and how much it taunts me to know that I was the reason for the hell you went through. I've thought about killing myself too these last few days, and you must have had that feeling for so long, and that's killing me to know. I just wish I could go back and change it all. I'm so sorry, "I could see on his face that he meant every single word he said and that he did want to change what he did. But he couldn't.

"Thank you for letting us see you, Jongin. We hope you get better, "I thought we all had enough of this for today, so I escorted Jennie outside again.

As soon as we were standing by my car, Jennie broke down. She was overwhelmed by her emotions and she started crying.

"No, no, no, no, shh, it's alright, "I immediately ran to her, embracing her in a tight hug.

We stood there for a while until Jennie's crying slowly died down and she looked up at me.

"I don't know how to thank you for being here for me while I'm going through this. I love you so so much, "she whispered.

"No, I'm thanking you."

"For what?"

"For not giving up. For holding on to life and giving it one last chance, giving me a chance."

She hugged me tightly again.

"I love you, and I'll always be here for you, "I pecked her wet lips.

"Now, what do you say we drive back home, make some chocolate milk and watch Frozen?" I smiled, making her smile as well.

"I'd love that."

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So, this was the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this journey of Jensoo!

Hope to meet you soon in a new book! 😊