13 Reasons Why

Cassette 02

JISOO

"Welcome back to the miserable life of Kim Jennie."

I couldn't help but feel sad at the uncomfortable feeling of imagining Jennie going through this and then afterward having to explain it to the people who did it to her.

"Some of you may already feel bad for me or even feel guilty, but you shouldn't. Not yet at least. It gets much worse, just wait."

Well, that didn't exactly help the bizarre feeling in my stomach grow smaller.

"So, as I said, I went to school the next day, apparently not very welcome there. In every class, eyes from everybody in the room were glaring and throwing daggers at me. All day I was hiding in the back of every room I went into. 

"People would start gagging when I walked by them, push me to the ground in one way or another, or punch books out of my hands. Of course every time it would be a group approaching me to do something hurtful, never a person alone. 

"Because people don't have the damn guts to do anything without making sure people were with them and saw it. High School is just one big popularity contest, and bullying the newly gay kid scored you some points."

As I thought it over, she was so right. Everything she just said made perfect sense. I could hear the frustration and anger growing in her voice.

"I thought I would get away with a couple of scratches on both my skin and my self-confidence that day, but then lunch came around. And, like every other school, mine had cliques. I used to be in one. A popular one at that. I was a part of the soccer team back then... Well until some things happened... but we'll get back to that."

Oh no. Jennie loved soccer with her whole heart. I knew she spent so much time and effort on that sport, and those bastards on her team probably somehow ruined it for her.

"The soccer team was quite popular, especially with the boys - not that I was interested in that - so, of course, Jongin and his boy group had told the whole story of the night before. Well, with his twist.

"From what I heard, he told everyone that I had forced myself on him, then told him I liked it in the butt because I was gay and forced him to act like a man. The thought of actually doing that to someone repulsed me, but people didn't know that. Of course, they just trusted Jongin, why shouldn't they? He was the Prince of the school.

"Moving on; since the soccer team knew, I was banned from their lunch table, the table I had eaten at every day for my whole school life. So, like in every cliché movie, I ended up eating in the bathroom."

I shifted uncomfortably on my bed. I didn't like hearing that, but I had to get through it so I could get to my part. I had to know what I did to her to make this terrible thing happen.

"I didn't get to sit there for long though. Within a couple of minutes, three girls walked into the bathroom, not knowing I was sitting in one of the stalls. One of the three, I didn't recognize her voice, started talking about the whole thing with me, saying how I was a creep that didn't deserve the right to live.

"I had to bite down on my lower lip so hard that it eventually started bleeding so I wouldn't start crying. But as I thought it couldn't get worse than that, I heard the other agreeing, one saying; "I can't believe she did that. That's so gross, she's such a loser." And that wasn't just some meaningless, random girl I had seen around the school a couple of times.

"No, that was Im Nayeon. My very best friend."

No. No, no, no, no. How could she? Oh God, no.

"Nayeon and I had been best friends before we could practically walk. We had walked together to and from school every day until that day. In times when I hadn't had anyone else, Nayeon had been there for me. She was like a sister to me. I can't describe how much that tore me apart.

"That was much worse than what Jongin had done to me because Jongin didn't mean anything to me, but you Nayeon, you were my best friend, you meant so fucking much to me. And you stabbed me in the back.

At that point I was squeezing my eyes shut with full power, my nails digging into my skin, my lip now becoming red with blood. Fortunately, they left soon after. Then I let loose and I just cried, ugly cried. I was a sobbing mess on the toilet floor when suddenly the door was opened, but I couldn't stop myself from crying. The person heard me crying, and started asking if I was okay, probably not knowing it was me."

That person.

It was me.

And I did know it was Jennie crying. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have asked to be quite honest.

"I just wanted to get away, so I quickly unlocked the door and started running out. But then I ran into someone. Kim Jisoo."

I gasped at hearing my name escape her mouth. What was she going to say now? I couldn't bear it. I couldn't breathe.

"We both stumbled to the ground, so I hurried up again. As we stood up I made eye contact with those pretty, brown eyes of hers."

My eyes widened at the compliment and I felt like they could pop out at any moment. Oh, thank God that I was listening to this alone.

"Then, the most genuine question I had been asked the whole day came out of her mouth. Once again - after having seen who I was, and having heard the rumors of me - she asked "Are you okay?" and it looked like she cared."

I did care, that was the important part.

I didn't care about the rumors, whether they were true or not. Though, I didn't think they were true, which turned out to be correct.

"But, of course, I thought she was just like all the others and was waiting for the perfect time to do something stupid to hurt me, so I just ran right out of the room and away from school property. The rest of the day though, the girls' comment stuck to my brain."

The smile that had started to form after Jennie complimented me, faded away as she kept speaking. I could never imagine doing anything to hurt her in any way. I wondered what my tape would say then because that was all the interaction we'd had.

"But this tape isn't about Kim Jisoo, it's about Nayeon, and how she ruined our friendship I thought I could rely on. But then again, it only gets worse from here."

And then I heard a click.

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FAM?

BORN PINK?

SHUT DOWN?😭

HOLY HELL, TYPA GIRL???😭