13 Reasons Why

Cassette 08

JISOO

"So....this next one is competing with Nayeon to be the one that hurt me the most and played the biggest role. This was once again a person I thought would never turn his back on me. My father."

Oh no. Why did parents always do something to mess up the relationship they have with their children? I couldn't even imagine what I would do with myself if my mom turned her back on me.

"At this very moment, he's sitting in the living room downstairs not having a clue what is going on in my room right now. Well, dad, I barely feel I can call you that anymore. That's how much you damaged me and our relationship. Let me tell you all the story of what awful things my fucking dad did to me."

Yes, please do - note the sarcasm.

"I tell my mother almost everything, and in the same way, she tells my father almost everything. So every day when I came home, a new person had harmed or betrayed me in some way, I told my mom. I cried on her shoulder practically every night because she was the only person I had left. I still did have Troy, my dad, but I didn't trust him nearly as much as I did my mom.

"My mom, though, did trust him and told him a lot of the things I told her so he could get an insight into my life. Little did she know, that was a very bad idea. It's not like I blame my mom for passing the information of my life further to my dad because he was, after all, my dad. I only blame Troy in this case."

Troy. I'd seen him very few times.

Each time he looked completely regular and placed in a loving family to me, but that could just be a facade. It was scary how easy it was for people to pretend in every situation they needed to.

How some people could fool everyone around them for their benefit and laughs?

"After a little while, Troy started bugging me with the fact that I had forced a boy in bed with me to pretend she was a guy. My mom believed me when I said that I didn't do that and that it was a manipulation of the truth, but Troy didn't.

"And that's not the only thing; Troy was also very disappointed with me when I came out. He told me straight up that if it wasn't for my mom he would have kicked me out right there and then. So my being gay was always something I had hidden away completely each I was with him. It was like I created a whole new persona to put on when I was with him. I had to act like I was something else. I had to hide away my true self. And that tore me apart, but at the time I still had my mom, my friends and I had a girlfriend."

A what now? A girlfriend? I'd never seen or heard anything that included her having an actual girlfriend. Okay, I was officially jealous of a person who dated the love of my life who is now dead. What is my life like?

"I know I haven't mentioned the girlfriend before but trust me I'll come back to her later.

So, then my friends started hating me along with basically every other person I knew. But my father. The man that had raised me my whole life. The man I had looked up to and searched for accepted me practically ever since I could walk. He hated me."

He couldn't. His daughter. That was just mad. I was so at a loss of what to say I could only form three-letter words.

"One day when I came home, having been bullied the whole day, as usual, my father was expecting me. My mom was still at work and my sisters were at school. I had to come home early because one of the guys on the football team had given me two black eyes so I could barely see. The principal had to call my parents, and just by luck, he called Troy. So I came home and there he stood. In the living room ready to yell at me for hours straight. But just as I thought that was enough, that ruining my eardrums had amused him enough, he did something I can never forget and never forgive him for.

"He raped me."

"No." I couldn't help the word escaping my mouth.

I felt tears well in my eyes and my lips started shaking. This was not fair. This couldn't be real life for an actual human being. One as kind and genuinely amazing as Jennie. I swore to God if I ever saw that man it would not be pretty.

"The man that had just screamed in my ear how disgusting and wrong I was for being gay raped me. He tied my hands together on my back against my screams of protest and he raped me right there and then.

"I've never told this to anyone. My mom doesn't even know, but she will. I've written a note for her explaining it. And Troy since I know you're listening to this, I hope she has gotten far, far away from you. You're a sick bastard and you deserve nothing more than to rot up in hell."

Jennie had started to anger herself up and she was on the urge to tears and screaming. I could hear it in her voice. So I understood it when I heard the ending click of the tape.

Even though it was a bad thing to say, Jennie was right. That was exactly what a man like Troy deserved after what he did, not only to another person but to his goddamn daughter of all people. Even thinking about it made my heart ache. That was so sick of a person to do.