[ON HOLD] Two Sides of the Same Coin (Damian Wayne x reader)

Chapter 16

 Being cuffed to a chair, in a cell, in a cave wasn't what I had planned. After Bruce, Kate and Dick left, I felt completely drained. I leaned against the backrest of the chair and stared at the grey ceiling. I didn't have many options now and I knew that no matter how this mission was going to end, Talia was going to punish me. I had failed once, it was enough for her.

I took deep breaths, closing my eyes. I ignored the pain in my tight and the burning sensation on my cuffed wrists. I emptied my mind from meaningless thoughts. I imagined the feeling I love when I'm underwater, weightless body, dull sounds in the background, out of reach.

Finally, I felt the pain and the weight of my body disappeared. I felt like floating outside of my body. In that state I could finally focus, unbothered by emotions and physical stimulus. My heartbeat was slower. I had used this technique a number of time, unpleasant times. It was my first time doing it knowing that no harm would be done to my body.

The feeling of being in that state is hard to describe. But I loved it. I felt free. However I had been told not to stay disconnected for too long. The body functions were put in slow motion. Too long in that state and organs could fail, the ones after the others.

Then, I reflected on everything that happened and what needed to be done. I was locked in a cell. But they will need to do something to feed me or to attend to my basic hygienic needs. The Bat family might hate me but they weren't monsters, even to their enemies.

I was hurt but I could still fight. I could try to escape when they would take care of one of those needs. But even thought I could successfully escape from the Batcave, I still had to return to the HQ with Damian. And retrieved my katana too. They must have stored it somewhere in the Batcave. The katana was the easy part.

I hoped a bit for Bruce to be the one to come. I itched to throw a good punch at his face. Now was the time to acknowledge my hate for this man. People were describing him as good man and forgave and forgot his flaws. He might even think himself a good man. But he wasn't. When he had asked Ra's al Ghul to train him, it wasn't with the will to do good things. He had been led by his anger and need for revenge. Batman was only good because there were more evil people in Gotham.

I didn't completely agree with Ra's al Ghul's belief; a flawed city needing to be whip off the map. There was no need to kill every and each citizen. Some were innocent, trying hard to live a good and honest life. However, I truly think that in a flawed system, there is no real justice. Knowing how corrupted Gotham police was, how could Bruce think that bringing villains to the police station, to put them in jail, was a real solution?

And most importantly, Bruce Wayne was the reason Damian never came back.

I stopped my thoughts on the subject, feeling my heartbeat accelerating. It was an upsetting subject. Because, if Ra's al Ghul's undertaking was to destroy the flawed part of humanity to create a new world, Talia's was very different. She had changed the whole organisation. Changed the life I had when Damian was still by my side. If he had come back, it would have been bearable. But he didn't and life became awful. Training was harder. Missions were more cruel and bloody.

With the Lazarus pits scattered around the world, she knew the powers she had in her hands at her father's death. Instead of creating a new world, she had decided to control this one.

I slowly regained full consciousness in my physical body. Blinking slowly, the ceiling came into view. I let out a sight, trying to stretch my shoulders, the cuffs on my wrist clinking against the chair in the process.

When I finally looked in front of me, Damian was facing me. Wearing casual clothes, he was staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

We stayed silent for some time. To be honest I didn't think that he would show up willingly so soon. But it was a good start.

He took a step closer, almost pressed against the bars of the cell. His green eyes were shining under the electric light. It cost me a lot to admit that I had missed them.

"I'm sorry." He finally said, his voice breaking the deep silence.

I clenched my jaw, no expecting this particular sentence.

"Sorry about what?" I asked, trying to keep my voice void of emotions.

"For breaking my promise."

He seemed sad, regretful. I huffed, looking down at my feet. I couldn't bare watching him with those eyes.

"I won't try to tell you excuses. Because I should have known ... I should have known that she had lied to me." he explained.

I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Y/n ..." he whispered . My name on his tongue made me shivered unintentionally. My eyes found his again. "If I broke my promise to you, it's because ... It's because I thought you broke yours first."

I gulped, a lump forming painfully in my throat.

"I don't understand." my voice weak.

He sighed, pressing his forehead against the bars. He seemed so tired. Like me.

"When my mother came here to bring me back to the League, I had already understood that the League wasn't ... it wasn't good or fair like my grandfather taught us. My father had also helped finding peace for Ra's al Ghul's death. Talia found out my reluctances to come back. I think she wanted me to feel this anger and need for revenge, this destructive feeling I had after his death. So she ... she told me that the enemies of the League had killed you."

I felt my head spinning, an awful headache splitting my head in two. Talia had lied. A lie, again and always. I screwed my eyes shut, feeling breathless.

"When I heard of your death, I didn't feel angry." he continued, his voice echoing in my head. "I felt ... From the moment we were apart, I knew that your life was on the line every day. It was my worst fear. So when she told me you were dead, I felt like the last string tying me to the League just snap. Only replaced by void. I was devastated. I felt like my whole world was crumbling under my feet. But by doing so, she gave me no reason to come back."

Tears were at the corner of his eyes.

"She said ..." my voice came out hoarse. "she said that you refused to come back. That you didn't care enough." The lump in my throat was too painful for me to swallow. "She said that it might be a good thing for now because I wasn't enough for you either. I wasn't good enough. She said that I didn't deserve to be your sword and shield. That you finally realised that I was not worth it, just a dog at your feet." I chocked on my words as memories flashed in front of my eyes. "I trained and trained, and let her, let them do those things to me, to be better, to be enough." A tear rolled down my cheek. "To be the sword and shield that you deserved. Hoping that if I was better, if I was doing everything they said, everything she said, you'd come back at your rightful place, with me next to you, as your grandfather wanted."

I wanted to wipe the tears escaping my eyes but the cuffs stopped me. A clinking sound and Damian stepped into the cell. Kneeling before me, I could see that he was also crying. His hand softly brushed my cheek, swiping the tears.

"I should be the one kneeling at your feet." I whispered.

"Y/n ..."

"All those trainings. All for nothing. I failed the only mission that mattered. So now what?"

"Let me try to help you."