Secret Son / Bang Chan

Part 1

P.O.V Y/N (3 years ago)
Anxiety made my blood run cold as I sat in the upstairs bathroom of my parents house waiting for Felix to come back from the drugstore downtown. I was 4 weeks late and the thought that I could be pregnant wouldn't leave my head.

What if I really was pregnant?

Would I keep the baby?

How would my parents react?

How would he react?

Would I even tell him?

A soft knock broke me out of my thought consumed trance and I quickly wiped my tears with the sleeve of his sweater.
"Come in." My voice was wobbly and horse for the amount of crying I had been doing. Felix's freckled face peaked in and he gave me a gentle smile.

"How you holdin' up?" His tone was soft and while it did help calm my nerves it did nothing to stop the tears I kept fighting back. I shook my head and sniffled as he came fully into the room and handed me a brown paper bag containing my future.

"Y/N...no matter what the test says, I'm here for you."
With that Felix left the room and I quickly took the box with the pregnancy test out and followed the instructions on the box. After finishing I washed my hands and left the bathroom to let the test sit the time it needs to.

Felix stood just outside the door in the hallway, his arms were crossed across his chest and he looked deep in thought. I put a hand on his arm and he quickly looked at me and pulled me into a hug.
"What does the test say?"
"I don't know yet, it's gonna take about 15 minutes before I have a result."

I slipped out of Felix's hug and we both sat on the floor of the hallway.
"Are you gonna tell him?" Felix asked out of the blue. I let out an exhausted sigh and shrugged.
"I don't know. We both decided a long distance relationship wouldn't work for us, so adding a baby to the mix definitely wouldn't help. He's already gone so why bother him with this."
Felix shook his head in disappointment but didn't have time to scold me about it before the timer on my phone went off signaling that the test was done.

My heartbeat leapt into my throat and Felix helped me to my feet.
"Remember, I'm here for you no matter what." Felix gave a reassuring squeeze to my shoulders before we entered the bathroom together. With shaking hands I picked the pregnancy test up off the counter and looked at the little markings on the stick.

It was positive.

I felt all the air leave my body and I dropped the test on the ground as tears started falling from my eyes. I stood frozen in time, the only thing telling me that this wasn't a bad dream was Felix's warm chest pressed against my back and the reassuring words he whispered in my ear. How could I have been so stupid to let this happen? I had my whole future ahead of me and one emotional night derailed it entirely. Heartbroken sobs left my body and I was shaking, this was the one thing he had worked so hard to avoid every time we did it. We were always so careful taking every precaution we could think of.

"Are you gonna keep it?" The questions starting coming after I had some time to calm down. Felix was holding me in his arms on the bathroom floor and my sobs turned back into gentle streams of tears with small sniffles here and there. I gave some thought to his question for a moment.

I loved....love him, and this baby was created because he loves....loved me. It was the only thing remaining of our time together and I couldn't bring myself to let it go. I knew it meant raising the baby on my own but it was something I was willing to accept.

"Yes, I'm gonna keep the baby."
"I'll do whatever I can to support you. You're my best friend Y/N, I want to be there for you as much as you'll let me."

Felix's words made me smile and put me at ease with my decision. I may be raising this baby on my own but I know that it'll be love and cared for even if it's father never knows about it.

P.O.V Y/N (present day)
"Thank you so much for watching him Felix." I held my sleeping son in my arms and thanked my best friend for the millionth time that night.
"Y/N seriously it's no problem, I love watching Greyson." Felix smiled at the sleeping toddler in my arms and it made me feel better about the situation. I was supposed to be home hours ago but ended up picking up a shift at the cafe after class.

"Okay, I'm going home now but I'll be back to pick you and Grey up tomorrow afternoon. Goodnight Y/N!" Felix stepped out into the hallways and waved goodbye before shutting the door to my apartment. I let out a sigh of exhaustion and carried my son to his room. The toddler stayed asleep as I put him in his bed and tucked him in.

A smile came across my face as I looked at my sleeping son and studied his features. The little dimples on his chubby cheeks reminded me of his father, that and the mess of curly brown hair on his little head. At first it was difficult to look at Greyson; all I could see was his face and it was just an unwanted reminder he wasn't around and that broke my heart. Sometimes I wondered what it would have been like I had told his father. Would he be around if I hadn't kept it a secret? He hadn't come back since he left three years ago and it had made keeping this from him a lot easier than I anticipated.

At first it wasn't easy being a single mom but I slowly got used to it as time went on. I took on three different jobs to afford the cost of living for Greyson and me. Felix was always there to help me and loved taking care of Greyson when I wasn't able to which I'm extremely grateful for, especially since I recently decided to college and get my degree. Greyson loves his Uncle Felix more than anything but there are still times when he wants to know where his dad is.

"Momma!" Grey had tears streaming down his face as he ran up to me. We had gone to the playground that afternoon and he had been playing with some of the older kids that were there.

"Baby what's wrong?" I took his small frame into my arms and checked him over for any visible signs of injury. I didn't see any but that didn't do anything to ease my worry.
"Does daddy not love me?" His big brown eyes sparkled with tears as he asked that question and I froze, not knowing how to answer. How do you explain to a three year old that his father doesn't even know who he is without absolutely destroying him?

"Sweetie your daddy loves you, he loves you just as much as momma does." I lied to him, I couldn't let him know. The toddler sniffled and tilted his head to the side a little bit.
"Rweally? My fwiend said daddy didn't love me and that he left me."
My blood ran cold as I looked in the direction of the "friend" my son was talking about, an older boy around the the age of 10 who was being mean to a group of younger kids around my son's age.

"Daddy loves you, he just had to go away for a while. Your friend doesn't know what he's talking about." I said matter-of-factly to try and convince Greyson (and convince myself) that I wasn't lying. Grey thought about it for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Yeah daddy loves me!"

"Momma..." Grey mumbled sleepily and shifted around in his bed. I reached down to stroke his hair out of his face and his eyes gentle opened.
"Go back to sleep baby." I urged him but he just sat up and crawled onto my lap. He gave me a big hug and I held him tight.
"Wanna sleep with you momma." He mumbled sleepily and it made me chuckle. I gently stood up with him and carried him into my bedroom. I quickly got him settled into my bed and while he fell back asleep I got changed in the bathroom.

I laid down beside him and gave him a forehead kiss before turning out the lamp beside my bed and going to sleep as well.