Secret Son / Bang Chan

Part 4

He was silent on the other end and I could feel the anger he was holding back seething through the phone.
"I want to see him. I want to see our son."
My breathing was unstable but I did my best to thing about the situation this was becoming. I wasn't prepared to see Chan ever again, let alone him wanting to be apart of Grey's life. I didn't realize how silent I had been until Chan spoke out again.

"Y/N please," he sounded desperate, "let me see our son."
I swallowed my pride and took in a shaker breath. He did have a right to know Grey if he wanted, I couldn't stop him from that.
"Okay, but we need to talk before you can see him."

Chan and I set up a meeting time and place for the following day and that was that. I got a hold of my parents that morning and asked them if they could watch Grey for the day and they were absolutely delighted, they did ask what for but I just told them I had errands to run and didn't want Grey to be bored all day. They weren't too thrilled when I found out I was pregnant and that Chan and I were not staying together after he left; but the moment they realized I needed them to be there for me they were.

Walking into the cafe hit me with a huge wave of nostalgia, as it was the one Chan and I frequented the most when we were together. Many late nights and weekend afternoons were spent here studying or on coffee dates but I hadn't been back since he had moved. I had arrived early so I was surprised when I saw that Chan was already sitting in the corner that we had claimed as ours and that he had already ordered not only his drink but mine as well.

I sat down across from him and just stared at him, not really knowing what to say or do in such an awkward situation.
"I got here kinda early, so I went ahead and ordered for us. Is that okay?" He asked after an uncomfortable amount of time sitting in silence. I nodded and took the drink that I had no doubt was for me. It was an iced vanilla latte with oat milk and caramel drizzled on top: the same drink I used to get in high school.

At Chan's request I had brought photos of Grey when he was still and infant, this included pictures of his as a newborn, his birthdays, and random pictures that had been taken at holidays. I had also included some of the ultrasound pictures because I thought they were something he would've liked to have seen. As he went through the stack of pictures his eyes welled up with tears and he studied everything about them. It was when he got to the picture of me holding Grey the day that he was born that he broke.

Tears were pouring down his face and he was trying to muffle the sobs the best he could. He was able to pull himself together after a couple minutes though.
"What's his name?"
"Greyson."
"His full name."
"Greyson Alexander Lee."
Chan tried to take in a breath and his eyes never left the picture in his hand.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was level but his expression was visibly upset.
"We were broken up..."
Excuses.
"So?"
"...you had moved back to Australia..."
More excuses.
"We would have figured something out Y/N." His voice was now strained, like he was trying to keep his emotions in check but was failing. I was getting frustrated that my logic was crumbling.

"What could we have possibly figured out? We were on completely different continents! We were 18 and broken up! What could we have figured out other than we would both be miserable?" I unintentionally yelled, gaining the attention of some employees as well as other customers. I immediately got embarrassed and lowered my head. Chan sighed and place his hand on mine from across the table.

"Look Y/N, I'm still kinda in shock. But I think I had a right to know that you were having my baby. He's what...3 now? So I missed him learning to walk and talk, him getting his first tooth, and who knows how many other milestones all because you didn't tell me? Don't you think that's unfair?"

He was right. He's been right the entire time but I was too stubborn to put my pride aside and admit it openly. Every word he said made
my head lower and lower in shame and if my cheeks weren't red enough from my previous embarrassment they definitely were cherry red now.

"I didn't want you to resent us..."
The silence that followed my statement was deafening. Chan had a look of absolute horror on his face that wouldn't go away.
"How could you even think that I would ever resent you? Or Greyson for that matter?"
If he wasn't hurt by the situation before he definitely was now.

"We were kids Chan! We were kids and we had just broken up. You would've wanted to do the right thing even if that meant giving up your dream! I couldn't do that to you...I didn't want you to grow to resent us because of something that obviously wasn't in your plans."

He was silent for a moment before he spoke in a hushed tone.

"Please, stop saying that."
"What?"
"Stop saying we were broken up, I never saw it like that: not until you had evaded all of my calls and texts and didn't speak to me for months. One word from you and I would've come home, baby or no baby."