Secret Son / Bang Chan

Part 7

Before I even knew it, almost a month had gone by since Chan had come back into our lives. We had gone out a few more times with Grey and it was fun: it almost felt like we were a real family. However, Grey was still unaware that Chan is his father. 

Chan has quickly climbed to the top of Grey's list of his favorite people and all I can do is watch everything unfold as Chan showers Grey with gifts, I tried to get him to tone it back a little and to stop spoiling the kid but it was no use. I couldn't blame him though, he was just trying to make up for lost time.

Felix had started coming around less and less, he was the one who had pushed me to tell Chan about Grey in the first place but now he's like a ghost that occasionally comes around. He came around so little that I actually had to find a daycare to send Grey to while I was at work or school instead of Felix watching him. But almost as soon as the new arrangement started, Chan was offering to pick Grey up from daycare in the afternoon's after school.

I didn't really have a problem with this as long as Chan asked me first to make sure I didn't have previous plans for Grey.

"Can I pick Grey up from daycare on Friday," Chan asked me one day after we had all had a nice dinner together, "I want to take him to the movies." 

It was odd that he didn't ask if I wanted to join too, as he usually does when he wants to make plans to see Grey.

"Can I come too?"

Chan's never been a good liar, so when he momentarily froze in place I knew that something was definitely up. There was an alternate motive. 

"Do you think I'm not capable of feeding him a healthy dinner and picking a movie appropriate for a three year old?" He attempted a joke to hide his panic. I gave him a cold glare and almost instantly his facade shattered.
"You can come if you'd like, it's just that Sana wanted to meet him."

My blood ran cold and heavy I'm my veins at the mention of Chan's girlfriend. A hot bubble of anger sat in the middle of my chest and I really had to think through the choice words that I want to just spit out at him.

"And you just weren't gonna tell me that my child would be meeting a stranger?"

"Sana's not a a stranger, she's my
girlfriend-" "-and I don't know her! She's a stranger to me and to Grey! And the fact that you were going to do this behind my back is insulting!"

Chan took a small step back from me and a guilty look crossed his face.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that it's just..."

"Just what?" I spat his words back at him.

"Sana cried yesterday.

That took me back and I stared at him in confusion. He gave a frustrated sigh and rubbed his face.

"I told her about you and about Grey that day we met at the coffee shop. She was very understanding and patient at first, but around two weeks ago she started asking if she could meet him. I couldn't give her a straight answer and we got into a huge fight about it. She doesn't think I'm taking this relationship seriously and thinks I'm ashamed of her because I'm hiding her from you and from Grey-"

A lump formed in my throat.

"-I understand where she's coming from. I mean we're in the process of moving in together, it would be unfair to her to ask her to leave her own home every time I want to have my son over. It's not fair to exclude her, not when she's one of the most important people in my life."

His words stung like salt in an open wound. Most of the time, I had managed to forget that Chan has a girlfriend. That he had a whole other life before this. That we weren't the happy family I had deluded myself into thinking were becoming. It made me feel guilty.