The 18th Floor

Chapter Ten

I wake up in my own bed, confused and drowsy, checking the time. It's 2:14 in the morning. I have 3 unread messages and I'm still in my work clothes. I see Lucien's name across my phone screen and then it all comes flooding back.

I had a panic attack, in front of my boss who I've barely known for a month. I completely freaked out. I think I'm going to throw up from embarrassment. I knew I should have never gotten in the car with him. It took a long time for me to get back into cars without panic filling me from the moment I clicked my seatbelt, but seeing that crash. Seeing how the two cars merged into each other, I felt like that was me again, spinning over in the air before breaking my spine.

"Dad?", I call out, my voice cracking as if I had been screaming all day. I can't even remember how much I screamed.

If I know my dad, I know he'll be waiting for me. I can't believe I slept for nearly 7 hours. I check my nightstand, one more empty pill pocket than this morning. I must have taken it when I got home in my drowsy state, or maybe dad gave me one to calm down.

Footsteps sound from outside my door and then it creaks open. He looks at me, and then I start to cry again. He comes over to my bed as I sit up, hugging me tightly as he whispers into my hair like he has always done, ever since I was a child.

"It's okay darling, you're okay. There was a crash, I'm assuming you had a flashback it's okay. You're home now." He knows I want to know what happened, but I don't have the energy to ask.

"Your boss, Lucien, he told me what happened. I was in the kitchen when I saw him pull into the driveway, and then I saw you in the seat, eyes closed and swollen. I thought he did something. I was ready to fight", he laughs gently.

It makes me sniffle a bit. Dad would never be able to fight Lucien. He might be fit and someone who jogs every morning and close in height, but Lucien is near twice his size in build.

"I rushed out the door and he had you in his arms, and told me what happened. He said he recognised me from the photo on your desk of us two, otherwise he told me he wouldn't have left you alone."

What would he have done?

"He carried you inside here", my dad was still stroking my hair, but suddenly I forgot how to breathe. Lucien carried me inside. Inside my house? Fuck. I didn't imagine those arms then.

"I asked him to stay for tea, offered him a drink, but he said he didn't want to disturb us and wanted you to rest."

I suddenly feel like a burden. How will I go to work tomorrow and not feel a lick of shame for what happened? I still haven't spoken a word to my dad.

"He seems like a very nice, young man Cyrene. Most people wouldn't even offer to drive their colleague's home, let alone their boss drive them. Don't feel ashamed of what happened darling. I know you're eating yourself up right now, but it's normal. Everyone has imperfections, yours are just slightly more visible than the rest of us."

I start crying harder at my dad's words of comfort. He holds me for the rest of the night.

----

I must have fallen asleep in dads' arms because the next time I wake up, I'm alone in my bed. I check my phone for the time, 5:36 am.

I have 3 unread messages from Lucien.

19:02

Hey, I hope you're feeling better. I don't know if you remember but I dropped you off at home with your dad (please do say it is in fact your dad and I haven't left you with a random stranger)

A small smile creeps on my face as I stare at the phone.

21:08

Also, don't worry about coming in tomorrow if you don't feel up for it. You can take what you need off, I understand how it feels.

I understand?

23:58

Cyrene, please do let me know if you are ok and if you need anything?

Is he worried? Well of course Cyrene, you freaked out in his car. I start typing, he's probably asleep but he can reply when he wakes up.

Hey yes it was my dad : )

Send. Fuck a smiley face? I just had a complete breakdown in his car and I've sent in a smiley face. My fingers dance over the keyboard. What do I say next? I need to thank him.

Thank you for bringing me home it was very kind of you. I'm sorry if I scared you but thank you again. And also, I'll come in today so don't worry about that.

Send. Fuck, was that too much? I've sent it now. I'm about to lock my phone when I see the messages go from delivered to read. Shit, did I wake him up?

He's typing.

Lucien:

Ok, that's good. I'm glad to hear you're ok I was worried about you.

My heart starts beating faster.

Cyrene:

I'm fine thank you again. I should have probably mentioned I might have anxiety attacks but I didn't think I would have one so soon, sorry.

Lucien:

Don't apologise it's not something we can control. I'm just happy to hear you're ok. But please don't hesitate to take the day off if you need it

We can control? I don't know why I get hung up on that sentence.

I let Lucien know again that I will be coming in and since it's nearly 6 am, I start to get ready for work.