The 18th Floor

Chapter Eleven

Lucien's POV

At 5:36 am I get a message from Cyrene, and then another one. I immediately reply. I couldn't sleep much anyway without hearing from her that she is ok. After I dropped her off, I took her dad's number too just in case.

I only messaged him once, after she didn't reply to my messages. I thought she might be mad at me, for making her take my car and seeing the crash. He told me that she is still sleeping and usually does so after a panic attack and it is a side effect of the meds. I told him thank you, but he thanked me again instead, for bringing her in. It is somewhat a relief he doesn't blame me.

I know the crash wasn't my fault but, I put her in that situation. I should have taken a different route. I should have been more alert. Instead, I was focused on her. On how good she looked sitting in my passenger seat. On how much I had to steady my breathing when I took her into my arms, grateful she didn't see her impact on me. How I had to stand next to the boot of my car for a few extra minutes pretending I was rearranging her chair before I calmed myself down. How I felt something come alive in me when I felt her breath on my neck.

But then she started screaming, and it was the most gut-wrenching noise I've ever heard. I knew, at that moment I knew she was taken back to whatever had happened to her.

In the time she had been at the office, she's never spoken about what happened to her, not that we deserve an explanation and nobody ever pushed. It wasn't our place to know if she doesn't want to share, and thankfully everyone else in the office respects it.

I should have known, from her little tells, I should have known it was something to do with cars and accidents. At the way she jumped every time cars beeped outside, or the panic in her eyes when sirens started blazing.

But she was ok, she had messaged me she was ok. I had to believe her. Even though I know what silent battles do to you, I had to trust that she was telling me the truth. A small wave of calm passes over me, at seeing her name come up on my phone.

I've barely slept at all, it's no different from most nights, but tonight has been more stressful than most. It's nearly 6 anyway, there's no point sleeping now. I start to get ready for the day.

CYRENE'S POV

The doors open for the 18th floor and I wheel myself out of the elevator. I can hear Lucien talking to Simon near Simon's desk before I even approach. As I come into view, Simon clears his throat and Lucien turns to me. He's early, he's never early. Every day Lucien is exactly 5 minutes late. Today he is 15 minutes early.

The bags under his eyes are a deeper colour than normal. I didn't notice it the first few days I was working here, in the rush of a new job, but sharing an office with Lucien, I saw how some days his face is more drawn out than others. How some days, the colour paler, like he hasn't slept or eaten in days, but then the next it would be full. Like my mind was playing tricks on me, begging me to believe that everyone was struggling and it wasn't just me, for the sake of not feeling different.

"Morning", I smile at both of them.

"Morning", they both say in unison.

Lucien walks towards our office and holds the door open. I wheel over to my desk, as he goes to sit at his, and an awkward silence settles over us.

We both start speaking at the same time.

"You can go first", he says. I take a deep breath.

"I want to say thank you, again. I know I told you this morning, but thank you. It... it means a lot that you brought me home and that you haven't freaked out", I smile softly at him, saying the last part under my breath. My heart pounding. He nods, fidgeting with the pen on his desk.

"Of course," he starts, "I'm glad to hear you are ok, that's all I want to hear. And if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here. Or we're here, just so you know. Feel free to talk to anyone, whether it's me or Simon or Abbi. The company also has therapists if you ever want someone else", he offers.

"Thank you", I nod. Something flutters in my chest because for some reason I know it's not coming from a place where he thinks I'm crazy and broken.

"I didn't tell Simon, by the way, if that was what you were thinking", he clarifies.

I nod again because it hadn't crossed my mind that he would gossip about me to anyone else in the office. We both open our laptops and get started on the work for the day.