The 18th Floor

Chapter Twelve

It has officially been one month of me working and I've fallen into an easy routine with everyone. It is also my first payday and logging into online banking to see the money coming in has set me up for a good mood already this morning.

I make my usual descent into the office, the end of October sun casting a warm orange light over a busy London. As I come out of the elevator, I notice that nobody is in yet. Even Simon. I'm usually the second person in after Simon but it feels odd to be here, just me.

I notice how the door to my shared office is closed, and it occurs to me that this is the first time I've ever had to push it open.

I wheel into the office and instead of making my way to my desk, I go over to the window and look at the sun still rising. We're making our descent into winter, where the days are getting shorter. On days like this, when I come in early to the office, I'm able to catch the sunrise in its final position in the sky, casting a soft glow.

I'm so captivated by the view that I don't notice Lucien enter till he says, "Good morning."

I turn to face him and smile back, "Good morning."

He's gone from being late to coming in on time lately. Some mornings even come in before me.

He smiles at me curiously, "What's gotten you into a good mood?" His voice is still deep and husky as if he woke up 10 minutes ago.

"Can a girl not be happy for no particular reason?", I question back with a slight smile.

"Of course she can", he challenges, "I would just like to know where I can get some morning serotonin too", he laughs back.

As I go over to my desk, he hands me my coffee. One day he asked me what I like to drink, and every day from then on started to come in with his drink next to mine. I told him to stop after the first three times, and when I realised, he wouldn't, I had no choice but to let him carry on, despite us having a kitchen on our floor. Saves me my money, but I also can't deny the fact that I like him thinking of me every morning.

"Simon is off ill today, Abbi has an appointment for the baby and Reid is working from home, so, it is just me and you today", he tells me over his laptop. I make a mental note to send a get well soon text to Simon later on.

"So is the weekly meeting cancelled?", I ask back.

"Yes, I guess so, but we can run through it together quickly and then let Reid know what he needs to do. He's pretty busy at the moment, seniors want a new website and he has a bit of a coding background, so he's working with the guys down in IT to get new case studies and everything up", Lucien replies back.
I nod, as I start to power up my laptop.

"Having said", he starts, "you might have to take over some of Reid's older stuff and I got an email for a large project and its brief yesterday. It might be a good idea if we go through it together today. That way, when you get given a new one, you can feel more confident in tackling it yourself. Not that you've not been doing an amazing job so far on everything, it's just that you've started them all in the middle."

I nod, excited. I've only recently finished all the training, and the projects I've worked on have always been assisting the others or looking over old projects, analysing what went well and what didn't.

Lucien stands up, laptop in one hand, and the other lifting his chair up and making his way to me. I shift slightly, positioning myself away from the centre of the desk to make some space for him. It's not a move that hasn't happened frequently, every time he has gone to show me something, he has moved to come next to me. And every time, I feel a little breathless. Pull yourself together Cyrene.

He's wearing his signature smell. It's still strong on him, with his dark navy suit. Freshly pressed. Despite the cold, Lucien has taken off his suit jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves, displaying the veins on his arms that he clearly overworks in the gym.

As he's sat next to me, talking through the project and details, I can't shake the urge that I want to get closer to him. I slowly start to edge closer to him, by pulling underneath the table discreetly, rather than wheeling myself closer. My heart rate starts to increase a little bit. His side profile looks as if it was carved by the gods themselves, solid and structured. He turns to face me.

"Cyrene?"

Shit, what did he say?

"I'm sorry?", I ask flustered.

He looks at me, "are you ok?", he asks with genuine worry creasing his brows.

"Yh, I am, sorry I didn't sleep well last night", shit why did I say that?

He assesses me once over as if he is checking for any injuries. "Hopefully you can get some more rest tonight", he says. Lucien turns back to the laptop and I have to make a conscious effort to listen and not just look at the way his lips are moving.

Come on, get it together Cyrene.

We spend the rest of the morning, together, side by side, brainstorming ideas for the campaign till it hits 1 pm and we both hear our stomachs rumbling.

"Do you have anything for lunch or do you want to go out and grab a bite?", Lucien suggests.

"No gym today?", I ask and he shakes his head. "I forgot my lunch at home, any place in mind to go to?"

"Let's have a look around Spitalfields Market, there's always interesting food stands around." He holds the door open for me as we make our way into the elevator and presses for the ground floor.

We leave the building and make our way down Spitalfields Market, the aroma strong from the different world cuisines. Past the lunchtime rush, the market is quieter than normal, but it also means that there is less choice than normal with the popular dishes being sold out. We both end up getting sushi and I have to literally beg Lucien to let me pay for both of us as treat of getting my first pay check. He finally gives in but then insists on carrying my bag of food.

As we make our way back to the office, I notice a table of girls sitting outside a café checking Lucien out head to toe, and then their eyes lock onto me when they see who he is speaking to. They look at each other and start giggling. I suddenly feel a sense of unease as I see the brunette of the group, tall, slender, and built like a Victoria's Secret model, start walking towards.

Lucien is so enthralled in our conversation that he doesn't notice her till she stops right in front of us, making both of us stop.

"Hi", she says to Lucien, batting her eyelids and playing with a piece of her curled hair.

"Hi?" Lucien questions back.

She starts giggling, completely ignoring me.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind to write your number in my phone?", she smiles.

I can admit that Lucien is attractive, but I didn't think he was stopped in the street attractive. I look at Lucien's face and before the girl even hands her phone over to him, he says, "I have a girlfriend."

What? My throat suddenly feels too dry. Of course, he has a girlfriend. Why did I not assume that Lucien would be in a relationship. More importantly, why is this news affecting me in this way?

"Oh", is all she says as she looks sceptically between me and Lucien.

"Yes", he says as he looks at her, to me and then back to her. I suddenly feel as shocked as the girl in front of me. "And, we'll be on our way. Bye", he continues on as he sides steps around the now slightly embarrassed brunette.

He walks around the girl, and I somehow have got my arms moving my wheels at a steady pace with him. What just happened? Did he just use me to avoid getting a girl's number? I don't understand what's going on.

We don't speak till we get into the elevator.

"Are you ok?", he asks, looking me in the eyes. His face still red, flushed with anger, fists clenched.

"Are you?", I resort back looking all over him, "explain to me what just happened? Because I can't tell if something was just insinuated or not?"

"What would be insinuated?", he questions back seeming genuinely confused. "She wanted my number, I didn't want hers", he says simply. I breath in trying to understand what just happened and why I feel annoyed. So, does he not have a girlfriend?

"You should have gotten her number", he looks at me with something cross between confusion and rage, and I suddenly regret saying the words.

"Why?" he asks. Fuck, does he actually have a girlfriend.

"Oh. I didn't realise you were in a relationship", I sound more deflated than what I thought I would for some strange reason. It's none of my business.

"I'm not", he says, point blank and I find it a bit easier to breathe in the elevator. "She looked like she was going to cause a fuss so, I got us out the situation."

Got us out.

I wonder if he felt their stares the same way I had before. The elevator feels too small and like there isn't enough air. I nod and look away. Not knowing what else to do. I don't trust myself to talk right now. The doors ping open and instead of making my way to our shared office, I head toward the toilets.

I need to compose myself. It's not the first time I've felt belittled because of my wheelchair in public, but I just didn't think Lucien would notice the little things. He could have easily got her number; she is a pretty girl and he is an attractive guy. Or this is all in my head. I can't seem to decide which reality is worse.

I enter the disabled bathrooms and take a look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks flushed pink from embarrassment and my hands shaking. I can feel the tears coming, building up in my eyes and blurring my vision. But I can't cry now. It wouldn't be the first time he has seen me cry, but I refuse to cry. Fuck, why has anxiety gripped me in a chokehold once again because I think some girls were laughing at me.

I come out of the bathroom 15 minutes later, refreshed and feeling steadier and make my way over to our office. The doors open.

I make my way over to my desk, where Lucien has left my food. I can feel him watching me, wanting to say something, but no one does.