The Little Merman

Stuffed Crab

Sebastian watches Chef Louis take out a bowl of dead fish. He sings to himself as he cooks.

Les poissons, les poissons

How I love les poissons

Love to chop and to serve little fish

First I cut of their heads

Zen I pull out their bones

Ah mais oui, ça see'est toujours delish

Les poissons, les poissons

Hee hee hee, haw haw haw

With the cleaver I hack them in two

I pull out what's inside

And I serve it up fried

God, I love little fishes, don't you?

Here's something for tempting the palate

Prepared in the classic technique

First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash through the skin

Give the the belly a slice

Then you rub some salt in

'Cause that makes it taste nice

Zut alors! I have missed one

Sacre bleu, what is zis?

How on earth could I miss

Such a sweet, little succulent crab?

Quelle dommage! What a loss

Here we go, in the sauce

And some flour, I think just a dab

Then I stuff you with bread

It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead

And you're certainly lucky, you are

'Cause it's gonna be hot

In my big silver pot

Tout à l'heure, mon poisson!

Au revoir!

Sebastian quivers and hides as Louis brutalizes the sea creatures. A fish's head lands in front of a mortified Sebastian. He hides under a leaf of lettuce to escape, but as Louis clangs down on the table with a cleaver, Sebastian is jolted into the air. Louis raises the leaf and sees Sebastian.

"Zut alors, I have missed one!" Louis exclaimed.

Louis picks up Sebastian. He throws him in a sauce bowl and throws flour on him. Sebastian sneezes. Louis stuffs Sebastian's shells with lettuce and bread. He spits it out.

Louis throws Sebastian across the room to the giant silver pot. Sebastian narrowly misses the boiling water and jumps out. The chef turns around to see Sebastian on the counter. He picks him up.

"What is this?" Louis glared at the crab.

Sebastian pinches his nose and Sebastian flies away, landing on the handle of a saucepan. Louis tries to grab him again and his hand goes on the stove. Yowling, he reels back in pain. A pan lands on his foot and he hops about.

He grabs knives from a knife block and throws them towards Sebastian, who scampers through a small hole in the cabinet. On the counter he drops a bowl with food onto Louis' head. He runs under the cabinet again as the chef lifts an enormous knife and chops it in half.

Sebastian dashes across the floor as a knife lands in front of him. He runs between Louis' legs towards a cabinet with dishes. Louis jumps to the cabinet with a hammer.

Crashing noises are heard.

"I think I'd better go see what Louis is up to." Carlotta said, nervously. Wren laughed, continuing his one sided conversation with Ariel.

The kitchen is in total disarray as Louis digs around looking for Sebastian.

"Come out you little pipsqueak and fight like a man!" Louis yelled.

"Louis!" Carlotta yelled.

Louis bangs his head. Carlotta puts her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing?" Carlotta frustadedly asked.

"Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, madame." Louis stuttered.

Carlotta carries out the dinner plates.

"You know, Eric, perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Grimsby suggests.

Carlotta sets their plates down. Wren gazes at Ariel, head in hand, Ariel stares back.

"I'm sorry, Grim, what was that?" Wren snapped out of his daze, turning some of his attention towards the older guy.

"You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life." Grimbsy ordered Wren, lifting his plate's cover to reveal Sebastian cowering in the salad. He motions "shh." to Ariel whose eyes widened.

"Get your mind off -"

Ariel beckons Sebatian to hide in her plate.

Wren knew what Grimsby was going to say, "It's not a bad idea, if he's interested."

Sebastian runs to Ariel's plate and he covers it, slamming the lid back on her plate grinning at Wren.

"Well - whaddaya say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Wren asked, leaning towards the boy next to him.

Ariel nods vigorously, leaning heavily on his plate's cover.

"Wonderful, now let's eat, before this crab wanders off my plate." Grimsby stabs his fork at an empty plate.