Elysium

32. ARTIFICIAL CH3ATER

Kira:

My relationship with Ren continues to develop. I don't rely on Elysium rules. Three hours a day is enough for me to restore my physical strength. The rest of the time I'm there. I even prefer virtual sleep insteadof disconneting. I just want to be near him all the time.
It's still hard for me to figure out exactly what those feelings are. On the one hand, it makes up for my lost love, and on the other hand, it gives completely new and incomparable emotions. And yet, I constantly compare him to Axel. I am ashamed to admit that I like his copy even more. There is something special in Ren, unlike anyone else. I don't understand what exactly the developers did with the code and data of my Axel when setting up Ren, but the result cannot but rejoice. I love him for real.

But my parents are more worried. The appearance of this result pleased them, my psychotherapist noted a positive trend, but along with the appearance of a strong dependence on observation in Elysium. I accidentally died with my Axel and went to heaven. In paradise, where only we are alone.
I prefer chatrooms and events with low rating. I'm specifically looking for secluded locations so that we can enjoy it together, without anyone else. And I have never been so happy. Unless at the very beginning of our relationship, when nothing foreshadowed trouble. But Elysium clouded my mind.
I thought that it will last indefinitely, but I also felt paranoia. I'm starting to think the outcome of our love. I think about how I will grow old, change, and he will be the same. I think about how it is not possible to get a full-fledged family. Then I come to the conclusion that if more developers appear in near future, they will create children based on of our data. And even though this is a simulation, here I am much happier than in real life.

Ren and I often lie in bed and think about our relationship and where it's going. His speeches are always well thought out, but this doesn't bother me in the least. I hear what I want to hear. And I'm not bored at all.

With Axel it was more difficult. He often fell into unreasonable despondency and infected me with it. Ren inspires hope for the best. Encourages me, revitalizes me. But something still bothers me. Fear that things might not be so perfect. That there is a catch somewhere. I can just look at him for hours and try to catch something unnatural in his gestures, facial expressions, his voice. An obsessive thought is constantly pulsing in my head:

"He is just an artificial intelligence, part of this intangible space."

After all, it is what it is. He's not even the person who plays with me from the other side of the world under an avatar that looks like my Axel. He is a hologram in a simulation.
But the more I look at him, the more he manages to surprise me with his humanity. Even the mistakes he makes is the most humane, characteristic of most living people in the real world. I stumble upon it quite by accident.

One day I enter Elysium and see that he is not in our location. Through his account, I find out that he is in one of the chatrooms where users with a large number of subscribers usually gather. It surprised me. Ren never showed interest in all this, what did he forget there? When I transport to a location like an indoor nightclub, I find him sitting in the company of some users. Ren looks animated and interested. I want to call him, but I restrain myself and continue to watch him. One of
the girls, whose appearance is as typical as possible for the top Elysium events, constantly refers to him. I recognize her as one of the contestants of the Gods of Elysium - the same tattoos on her heavy hips, the same big lips, an unnaturally thin waist with huge breasts, almost a chocolate tan. They are all similar to each other. She was no exception.

And I notice the way Ren looking at her. Interest in this template blooms in him - her blank look, her overactive gestures.
I don't want to keep watching and I'm going back to our shared location. Later he comes too. Words cannot express how angry I am at this moment. It seems that all my thoughts are focused only on simply calming down and not saying anything extra. But holding back is harder than I thought. This is the first time I've encountered such a problem.