Surrounded by many friends and lovers, Aia has always felt lonely. Changing appearance many times, she always felt like she is not enough. Life was passing away, while Aia spent all of her time in the next generation metaverse called Elysium, a real...
I have created over twenty new chatrooms in the last week. I work non-stop. I smoke three packs of cigarettes daily, I only eat in the morning.
When Jero died, I kind of lost my appetite. I don't know why. No, I don't worry at all and I don't suffer, this is not typical for me. It just creates an uncomfortable feeling. As if his death is just the beginning of something really bad.
There are more and more rumors. Someone was talking about an eighteen-year-old girl who committed suicide, who went out the window immediately after taking off her choker. It was like someone was anonymously intimidating her. In general, intimidating people is a common thing. The herd is always afraid, once someone strains their imagination a little and come up with another nonsense.
What really worries me, and to be more precise, interests me, is the message left by Jero just before his death. His last words. I can't get them out of my head. I fall asleep and wake up with them. I'm trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. But it all comes down to one thing - the guy just stayed in metaverse for too long and didn't want to return to boring reality, realizing that it is simply impossible to stay in Elysium forever. And what truth was he talking about?However, it's none of my business. It's just my curiosity. Soon the memories of him will melt in the textures of the virtual world. I just have to wait for the right moment.
In addition to work, I wrote several letters to the support service and a couple of letters to the system administrator. I keep wanting to ask what gift I ended up getting... But no one answers me. Looks like they get too many messages.
I put on my choker again and dive into Elysium. Part of me likes this game of investigation. I visit chatrooms, hear what others are saying, make some guesses, but all this is just another way to kill free time.
Sometimes I just forget to log out of the server and fall asleep in my private room. By the way, the feeling is very strange. You seem to be sleeping in reality, but also your consciousness sleeping in the virtual world. Dream within a dream.
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I wake up, and the dawn sparkles outside the window. Only then do I remember, looking around, that I am still in Elysium, and in my location, the eternal time is 5:40 in the morning. And it's spacious, unlike my shabby studio in Neo-Seoul, where I hit the ceiling with my head every time I wake up.
I check the indicators of my physical body. Everything is in perfect order, only hunger is barely noticeable, however, I don't feel it at all, but the choker still recognizes it.
"You slept for so long," I hear an unfamiliar male voice.
I turn quickly towards the kitchen. Aia sits at the table and laughs at me. With a snap of her finger, she returns her soft feminine voice back.
"Did I scared you?"
"Hardly."
"But you really slept for a long time. Are you not getting enough sleep in reality?" she asks with genuine interest.
"Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't remember inviting you here or wanting to see you," I say caustically. It's not that I intentionally want to offend her somehow, it's just my way of communicating. Not the most pleasant.
For just a second, it seems to me that she really took offense at me. Silence reigns in the room. And this silence is not the same as you feel in a large space, where there are few people, this kind of silence is oppressive - an unpleasant and heavy. I often felt such silence in the house of my family. My parents were silent, my older brother was silent, his wife was silent, five of my ex-girlfriends were silent, starting from the time of the senior classes.
This is what the lack of love sounds like. Not hatred or dislike. Just the lack of love. Here, in all the seriousness of what is happening, the air seems to suffocate you.
Without saying a word, I reach over to the table, open the lid of the cigarette case, and pull out what looks like a long cigarette with a colored filter. Then I turn on physical access, setting the timer for three minutes and, after lighting from a heavy lighter, I exhale smoke, and then I cross my legs, not taking my eyes off the girl sitting next to me.
Her eyes are cold, unfeeling, fixed on the artificial sunlight streaming in from the window.
"So you will sit here," I say indifferently.
"You're ugly," she retorts.
"I'm just not in the mood today. I rub my closed eyes wearily and then toss the rest of my cigarette right on the table, past the ashtray. After a minute, they dissolve into the void. Another plus of "Elysium" - all of the garbage just disappears after a few moments after the appearance.
"I would leave. But I can't," Aia suddenly says.
"What do you mean?" I look at her again.
She shakes her head. Her eyes no longer express coldness or indifference. Rather, they reflect a strange and incomprehensible for me sadness, helplessness.
"I can't leave until you really want me to leave."
For a moment I think of what she just said. Well, she's right. I don't want her to leave. But how she knows that? Does she read peoples minds?
"You probably already heard about the death of Jero?
"Sure."
"What do you think about it?" I ask in a tone that sounds like I'm showing her a new design for my room. I don't know why it comes out like this.
"They say it's suicide. Nothing special." She shrugs.
"Yes, it is, in general. Do you know the details? Why could he do it?"
"I don't know. And why should I know that?" She talks like she never knew Jero.
"But you were kind of friends, weren't you?
"Yes. Exactly. Jero and I were friends. But he died. Why remember him? I'm just already..." Aia replies, as if she's trying to remember something but can't.
'Wait, have you erased your memories of him?" I ask, wondering what it is.
"As you can see..." she says guiltily.
I look at her silently for a while, and she looks back at me as if she's waiting for a clue. I sigh wearily.
"Okay. Never mind."
She stays silent for a moment, but then asks me:
"Why didn't you erase memories of him?"
"Why should I? He was my friend."
"But isn't it painful to remember the one who left?"
I don't want to talk about it, so I remain silent until she sits closer to me.
My lips curl into a smile.
And then she suddenly comes up, sits on my knees and kisses me. At this moment, thousands of thoughts are blowing through my head.
Jero's message, his little brother's lost gaze, my gray apartment in Neo-Seoul, a dozen unanswered messages from work, my mother's tantrums, antidepressants that come to the post office once a month, my first girlfriend, my runaway from home when I turned seventeen.
"What was it?" I sharply push her away from me, realizing that all these thoughts and memories didn't just arise right now randomly. I swear she did something to me and it scares me. Aia silently smiles.
Congratulations! You have found a rare element that will make your life better.
