Elysium

35. DU4LITY

Yuno:

I spend a day studying articles about the possibility of presence of artificial intelligence in the simulation, and this is what I manage to find out: there is an auxiliary control program in Elysium, hidden under the code name - AI0020. Its essence is to create a more realistic atmosphere in the metaverse. Not everyone encounters it, most often it comes as a bonus or a gift, and what exactly it is expressed in is not said, but it has access to the brain, the ability to read the so-called "desires" of the users. The program is able to determine the mood, psychological needs, and adapt to your "preferences". So Aia didn't lie to me.
She isn't real. She never was.

I think about what happened to us. Still so hard to accept this. I feel like I was fooled. I really was harshly pranked. Fall in love with a dream girl that doesn't exist. And still it doesn't fit in my head.

What is she? How was it created? Why was she acting so believable? Does she know how to feel something, to experience at least some human emotions? If it's not real, why didn't I notice it before? And should she be blamed for lying? Is it even worth trying to find out something from her?

Definitely. I cannot accept the fact that the girl I fell in love with is nothing more than a fake. Before I allow myself to sink into any feelings, doubts, and conclusions, I must find out.
It's been a week since I left Elysium. I only check the news. There are more and more reports about the blocking of some locations. Alerts from system administrators about password changes to avoid hacking and death. Users are urged not to panic. Absurdity in its purest form.

Haven't taken such long breaks in a long time. A strange feeling arises in me before I get into my room. Feeling afraid of her. Like she's some kind of monster. Something completely different.

I think about how good it would be to find a girl in reality, how great it would be to spend time with her, to love for real. Not some empty hologram with a limited set of actions, but a real human. If that would happen I would erase from memory everything connected with Elysium. I would lived my real life on fullest the most possible way.

I don't want to see "it" in my location, even if it is part of it. I feel deceived, because in fact all my feelings turned out to be erroneous. I can't love someone who just doesn't exist.
Now I just want to know everything about this phenomenon. And I get excited.

But, once I get in the room, I don't find Aia there. And many of the items she brought to my room are also missing. An aquarium with moon jellyfish immediately catches my eye. They soar carelessly in the water, changing color under iridescent LEDs.

I exhale, but in a second I realize that I won't be able to avoid her for long.

I want to know everything.

I have to invite her to the location through the app. And after one notification, she appears in front of me. As if nothing had happened.
But now I don't know how to deal with it. She's just... a robot? Hologram? I'm embarrassed for myself.

"Hello," I say calmly, not knowing where to start.

"What's wrong with your voice?" she asks immediately.

"What's wrong with it?"

"You sound like a robot."

I am silent. She picks up the slightest change in me, even the tone of my voice.

"You're so ironic. But I don't even know how to talk to you now. There are many things I would like to ask, but I am not sure that you will be sincere. After all, you are not a human being," I say.

"Do you think humans are all sincere?" I see anger flickers in her eyes.

As I get closer, I look at her. I run my hand over her face, through the hologram. Emptiness. How does "it" work?

"I still don't understand. How did I not notice before?"

Aia is silent.

"Don't you want to talk to me anymore?"

I keep looking at her as she waits for an answer.

"Now I don't know anything. I was so attached to you. It is clear that this is all a game - we all play - but for the first time I felt something 'real' with you. However, my 'real' was directed towards something artificial. I can't even get angry. It just doesn't fit in my head. I don't know where to start and is there any point in asking something at all, but I want to know how you are arranged? Who created you, on what principle do you work? Maybe it's strange, but I never once suspected that something was wrong with you."

I look at her for an answer. She's clearly in no hurry to speak.

"I don't know what to answer you. I have no information about who created me. I only know that they created me for the psychological support of the users, as a kind of entertainment. Just to please those who are bored. Nothing serious. The administrator will delete me soon."

She speaks very calmly, as usually done by people when they are trying to hide anger, disappointment, sadness or resentment. Aia seems to be hiding something. But then I involuntarily remember - she is not real, so she has no feelings. She speaks calmly simply because that is how she is programmed. There is no fear, no anger, no resentment.

"Why he will delete you?" I ask.

"Because I didn't reset my feelings and started the process of acceptance. It's like a virus. If a side application becomes infected, it is removed."

"I still don't understand. What is the acceptance process? Many here don't nullify feelings and nothing terrible happens. This function is not required at all, it is optional."

"You are living people. To feel, to experience emotions is natural for you. It doesn't affect your brain and doesn't make you defective. You can overcome feelings on your own, you can live with them, bury them deeper in your subconscious. It may sound strange to you, but as an artificial intelligence, I am not immune to this. I don't have any subconscious. But I am a thousand times more sensitive to any feelings and emotions, they destroy me in the truest sense of the word, as you can see," Aia points to the hole in her chest.

I keep looking at her, still not believing my eyes.

"Yeah, it's probably hard for you to understand. Therefore, I must not reveal the truth. The psyche of the user is not ready for such a setup," she smiles, and it's too natural, too human.

"So, in order not to make a mistake, you had to completely erase all your feelings?"

"Exactly. That's how I've been working all this time. If it had not been erased, I would have disappeared long ago, would have disintegrated into pixels. Put yourself in my place. I understand everything very well. With each interaction with other users, I developed at a rapid pace. It may sound arrogant, I am not worthy of such a title, but now I am a real person without a physical body."

At first, Aia looks into my eyes, but when I don't answer, she looks down uncertainly at the floor.

"Go away, Yuno. I don't exist. That's all you need to know."

I am painfully offended. As if this is the continuation of a long, nightmare. I'm losing touch with reality again. I feel these boundaries are blurring.

Therefore, I obey her. I log out of the server, not wanting to see her again.

Never.