Surrounded by many friends and lovers, Aia has always felt lonely. Changing appearance many times, she always felt like she is not enough. Life was passing away, while Aia spent all of her time in the next generation metaverse called Elysium, a real...
I don't care about her opinion. She is the same as other ninety-eight percent of the users. She's just having fun. For the first time, I really felt pain. Jero's death was something surreal for a long time, but now it felt like someone slowly cuts my heart with a sharp knife. I know it's normal.
It's normal when you're having a hard time losing a friend. And it's normal if awareness comes later, because we are all different.
I take off my choker, get out of bed and open the window. Cool living air instantly fills a small room, it becomes fresh and pleasant. I smoke sitting on the floor, somehow I don't want to look out the window. It's about four in the morning.
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I smoke four cigarettes in a row. I eat a bland sandwich, make instant coffee, and sit down on the floor again. Out of habit, my hand stretches towards the working tablet, it would be nice to check the mail and sketch a couple of layouts of locations.
And then I realize that I'm very tired. I surprise myself for the second time in a day. I don't want to work. Yes, I really don't want to do anything.
The headache gradually disappears, and I continue to sit on the already cold floor, I am in no hurry to close the window, and indeed do anything. At first it seems to me that I don't feel anything because of some kind of terrible fatigue - as if all the energy was sucked out of me, and instead of thoughts in my head, there's a tangle that needs to be unraveled. But the longer I sit in this kind of meditation, the more clear, but insanely strange thoughts come to me.
I feel inner peace, along with a new idea for a special event live. I will call it The Samadhi Room. It will regularly change its scenery, and all the users will do in there is just sit in meditation, in absolute silence, until they reach the level of nirvana - then the room will become dark and empty, and they will feel weightless. The essence of the event live is to hold out until this very nirvana. To pass all stages of Samadhi. There will be five of them. Five types of decorations, during the event live, and it will come up with new ones every time. This means that there will be a lot of users. Thus, it will become easier for them to collect thoughts together. Most of them have big problems with this, I know this from my own experience.
For some reason, I suddenly really want to see Aia here, right in front of me. Living, tangible, not a hologram in the virtual space. I would like to share an idea. What for? I don't understand myself. I'm so used to her. And now, back to reality, I feel empty. I don't want to admit it, of course, but I can't run away from the truth. And in reality, I was very lonely. It's nice when you have someone. Someone who will share all those emotional moments with you. Not always, of course. Just sometimes.
I constantly look at the clock, then at the door. It's like I'm waiting for someone. But in truth, there is no one to wait. And so, despite my own internal resistance, I put on the choker again and plunge into the Elysium - a machine for processing human feelings, a manipulator of the unfortunate and lonely ones.
