Elysium

37. LOST FOR3ST OF S4DNESS

Yuno:

For a long time I think about what happened between me and Aia. I feel bad about what happened, I want to blame her for everything, but I can't. She acted in accordance with the program that was laid down in her. And she is not to blame for the mistake she made. It's not for me to judge her for lying. I myself have lied to everyone all my life, only I was afraid to admit it, and thus I lied even to myself.
A devastated, cynical person who didn't care about anything.

It was the first time someone had evoked such emotions in me, and that someone was a girl who didn't even exist. There are only her feelings, and they are real. After all, what are feelings? They are intangible. We cannot touch them, but this doesn't mean that they do not exist, or that they are artificial and devoid of any meaning. Feelings exist. Both mine and hers. Sincere and real. I didn't have to give them up or pretend I didn't have them at all.
I was so wrong.

We don't talk for a long time. While I pretend to have fun, replacing her with other girls, a void forms in her hologram in place of the heart. And I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how she treats me now and whether I have at least some chance to return everything back. At least restore her avatar.

Remembering all our conversations on sleepless nights, I think of her revelation - she feels homeless in this world, despite having a small room. Aia feels like an object, and while the other users can take everything from Elysium, she only does her job without feeling any joy.

"There is nothing mine here. Memories need to be erased, people removed from subscriptions, my appearance have to be changed in accordance with other users' preferences. I am nothing. Nobody will ever remember me."

These words of hers make me sad. When we were given life, we were not asked if we needed it or not, but at least we have our own bodies, thoughts and emotions that no one can take away. She was deprived of this privilege. I want to make her feel alive, special. Not a small chapter in some user's life, but a whole book. Eternal. But most importantly, I want to apologize for everything I have done and said.
I haven't created chatrooms for a long time, so I decide to dedicate an entire session in the simulation to this. Creating rooms for me is always a pleasant and exciting process, my favorite pastime, even though I often feel feeble after the session.

Many location designers usually come to create a room with an idea already in place. They write out every little detail, create an accurate plan, think through everything to every barely noticeable thing, and only then go into the mode of creating a room. I'm used to acting differently. Plans, notes, developments - all this is not for me. I love improvisation.
What is the mode of creating a room? Just dark empty space. You float in this dark void and slowly visualize details of your location. Color, shape, substance... I like to sit in this void for a long time. The silence is deafening, and the darkness is bottomless. I enter into a kind of meditation, realizing that soon a living space will be created bit by bit in the place of this emptiness. Then it will be filled with people, noise, light, colours, feelings, and memories. It can be felt and seen.

For novice designers, there is a catalog of basic elements, but I never use it. The key to the success of rating chatrooms is uniqueness. I literally take all the elements from my thoughts. All of my locations are custom.
It easy, you just have to imagine and mentally send an impulse to the choker, and then the object materializes. The more clearly you imagine it, the better it will be. Every pattern, every detail in the highest quality. I usually start with small things, although it is more convenient to start with the base. I read this advice in a book on training chatroom designers. In interior locations, the base refers to the size of the room, walls, ceiling height, followed by shades, light, and only then other objects, which are called "location fillers".