I Want You [HaruKyu FF]

Chapter 36

Junkyu POV

Divorce.

It is not the piece of paper, it is the process of separating two entwined lives. Dare I say, a year of preparing for a wedding was less complicated and less messy than having a divorce. Kind of funny considering I almost called our wedding off because I was fed up with the preparation.

It's exhausting - emotionally and mentally. You think you get to a place that's good and then you are right back to feeling stressed and depressed. One day you feel strong and sure, the next you wonder if the stress is worth it and that maybe you don't really want a divorce at all. It's not for the faint-hearted. There are still days when I don't want to get out of bed.

It didn't take long for us to decide we are heading for a divorce, just two days after my discharge from hospital. Haruto and I got our own attorneys as fast as the next day came and I filed for the request. And since then it became a public affair, not just us two.

JW Group legal team wreaking havoc at the news. Our board of directors went ballistic, asking whether there will be changes in Chairman position, who's going to replace Haruto once he stepped down after the divorce, and the direction of the company after he left. Another fights within my family began to rise, they were racing for that position as if I didn't exist.

We had another family meeting that screamed anything but family. They cared for everything but Haruto and I's feelings. Haruto was there with me as he deemed it was part of his responsibility to explain about our divorce. They insulted me, called me names, acted like my divorce is a disease or something. They said I brought shame to the family for marrying a man instead of a woman and now a divorce, which never happened in the history of the Kim's. They degraded Haruto, they blamed him for the divorce, they put him in the corner for giving me bad influence as far as mentioning Haruto's parents.

I walked out from my grandparents' house halfway through the meeting, feeling furious and dejected. I was fine with them insulting me, but not Haruto. Just because we're having a divorce, doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I still very much love him and it hurts to hear my family talk shit about him.

"Sshhh.. I'm fine, don't listen to them." Haruto had said as he hugged me on the driveway next to my car and rubbed my back.

I clutched his shirts with my fists on his chest. "You're not some random guy from New York slums." I'd cried, shaking my head as I remembered what my uncle said about him. Haruto isn't some random guy. He was my housemate, my close friend, my dongsaeng before we started dating, before we got married. I've known him for fifteen, sixteen years, he wasn't just a random guy.

And even if he's a random guy for them, he worked hard for JW Group for the past seven years or so. JW Group was growing exponentially under him. He gave them better positions in the company, he gave them more money in their bank accounts. How could they insult him that way?!

"They don't know you. They know nothing about your family. They have no rights running their dirty mouths on you." I'd said again, crying louder. I couldn't imagine how he felt when one of my aunts said divorce was in his blood because his parents also had separated.

"I know, that's why it didn't bother me, because they don't know my family. And it shouldn't bother you either." He'd said, tightened his arms around me. "You know me, and that's enough."

Do I really know him? If I really know him, there will be no divorce, right?

It was another reality that I brought home with me that day. Just like my family, I know nothing about Haruto.

One day we handled our divorce levelheadedly, we had healthy discussion up to a point where I think it was unnecessary for us to have a set of attorneys, and even more, I doubted if the divorce is necessary. Yet on another day, we were in each other's throat, debating and shouting on top of our lungs in front of our attorneys, and it made me thinking I took the right path in divorcing him.