poems of a broken girl

#20 Golden Cage

you never listen
I never tell you the truth
I stopped talking
after I saw the things you do

I didn't tell you how I felt
never showed you my heart
holding back words, feelings, thoughts
didn't mean to tear us apart

all the unspoken things
hidden under pillows
I didn't care about this
didn't want that anyone knows

I met someone
I didn't tell you
I cry a lot
never show you

there is a person
who told me to stop
"it only makes it worse"
so I started to talk

I talked about it
to him
the first time I spoke
about all the things
swirling in my head

trying to untangle
the chaos on my mind
and start to handle
the important kinds

this time I told you
I don't want to
but you didn't listen
you never do

I wanted you
to understand
but you told me to
participate

you seemed to listen
this time
so you said
I should handle it
by nine

I called everybody
tried fucking hard
even though
you know me
I can't stand phone calls

but I did it
I did everything
you told me to
thats how much
I wanted it to work

but you just couldn't
couldn't let it go
your plans to be
rewritten by me

couldn't listen to me
just your image
so now I see
the golden cage

I'm trapped in it
looks sweet and shiny
but don't forget it
it's nothing but tight and tiny

hard to explain
this invisible thing
inside to have
everything to loose
but nothing to gain

it's built out of
plans, expectations and tasks
not mine but yours
everything hidden behind masks

my life is trapped
in this prison cell
so let's take a nap
and listen to the call
from the famous guard