poems of a broken girl

#34 I don't care anymore

it's in my nature
I feel, I love, I hurt, I cry
I only want to help
help you and you
but never myself
no time to see the truth
don't know how to take
only how to give
I can't ask for help
but whenever you need me
I'm there
and then you hurt me
I'm really trying my best
can't deal with it anymore
to tired to do more
I only want the best
but I guess
my best is not enough
cause you can't accept
that there is nothing left
from the warmth you knew
warm-hearted and giving me
is gone
you killed her
or she ran away
tried to hide
but the walls were thinner than paper
so now the house has collapsed
and the girl escaped
this cruelty
can't take it anymore
so my blood ran cold
my eyes turned grey
my heart skipped the beat
so next time you ask
just think about
how you treted me wrong
so I cut you out
and I dont care anymore
I wish I could
drown my memories
in the ocean of tears
I cried for you
and maybe you cried for me too?
but it's too late
the package to heavy
my heart crushed
shattered in too many pieces
this is my last cryout
so tell me why
why can't you treat me right
never heard you say thank you
can't close my eyes
cause there's no escape
from my present life
no dreams possible
cause my brain is incapable
to create a situation
this unimaginable
that you could just once more
recreate a life
without all the pain
without living in the past
just to show you
you know I know
nobody is perfektt
but you're too imperfect
it's not easy to change
but every time I think you did
you steal again
you steal the key to my happiness
cause I want to laugh
I want to smile
to be blissful
to be full of luck
and hope for the future
now I only see grey
you made me do so
so I turn the page
switch the switch
and let myself go cold
don't you ever say
it's my fault again
you made me do it
so don't look back
cause I don't care anymore
don't ask me out
don't ask me in
don't speak to me again
never let you in
never let you see
how really broken I am