Five Words

Chapter 15

~Cher

Buzzing. I hear buzzing. It is echoing in my head, and it is extremely annoying. I have to force my eyelids to open to see where this sound is coming from.

I groan as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. It's three in the morning, and as my eyes move around the room, my mind registers the sound as my phone's ringtone.

Who the hell is calling me at three in the morning?

I push myself off the bed and walk to my dresser. My hands have never moved faster to answer the phone.

"Adrian."

My heart flutters with happiness, contented by the fact that he finally called.

"Cher."

I have been hoping to find ease once he speaks to me, but I can sense the pain he is withholding, not making it any easier on me.

"I miss you, Cher." He sighs.

"I miss you too, Adrian. You have no idea how much."

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I just needed some time to think." He says, "I think I'm okay now. I'm ready to talk to my best friend."

I can't help smiling, this is such a great relief. I've been waiting for the moment he would call me, but I didn't expect him to be okay with it right away.

"You don't know how happy I am right now."

"I told you that we will get past this. Though I am not completely over what happened between us, but I need my best friend more than ever."

"How is your dad?"

"My dad?" He says, more of a question, "My dad is dying, Cher."

"Adrian, I am--"

"Don't say anything, Cher. I don't want you to tell me that it will be okay. I don't want someone else to tell me that he can live and that there is always hope." He is angry, hurt, but to him, there is no difference. He is feeling pain, and anger is one of the outlets that he can use to relieve himself from all the pain he is withstanding.

"What else don't you want people to do?"

"I don't want the doctors to keep lying to his face, giving him hope and shit. You don't see how much he finds relief in their lies. I hate when my mother keeps lying to herself saying that everything will be okay. All she is doing is hurting herself more and more. I hate when people come around and visit us, pity filling their eyes, and they say that if we need anything we could turn to them for help, but they don't fucking understand how hard it is to see a part of you die every fucking day."He is breathing heavily when he finishes speaking.

"What is it that you want, Adrian?"

"I want everyone to stop acting like he will get better. I want everyone to stop lying and denying the truth. I want everyone to understand that he needs us beside him, not at work, not studying for fucking SATs. I want everyone to stop carrying on their lives like there is nothing wrong with him." He inhales deeply, "I just want the pain to stop, Cher." Soft sobs escape him, and I hate that I am not there beside him right now.

"Adrian, I can book the first flight to Texas and be there with you. I can't stay here while you're going through this alone."

"I'm not alone. Sarah has been here since day one." He informs me.

"Øh."

I can't stop myself from feeling jealous that someone else is comforting him, and that he doesn't want me there.

"I just wanted to be there for you," I say quietly.

"I need more than a week to be able to stand in front of you and see my best friend again."