Five Words

Chapter 19

~Cher

Most of our hangouts end this way. So fucking annoying. He would understand my words the way that would offend him. He wouldn't give me a chance to explain what I meant. But he would flip the switch and turn on attack mode. It's like he is programmed to do so. He's so infuriating. So damn hard to deal with. I don't even know why I'm waiting for him in my car. He should go to hell.

I turn the key and start the engine. The passenger's door open and I don't stifle the groan that escapes my mouth.

"So you were just going to leave me somewhere in a town where people don't speak English?" He asks as he closes the door.

"I was hoping they'll call the police claiming that there is a crazy person roaming the streets. Then they'll lock you down till summer ends. So that I don't have to deal with you." I drive us back onto the road.

"Okay, you really are mad."

I shake my head, "Furious would be the correct word. But mad could work."

"Can you stop the car so that we could talk?"

"No. I'm driving you back to the house, and I will go..." I don't know what I'll do so I say anything. "Do whatever."

"Cher, stop the car here. I don't want to go back."

"Fine. But don't call me asking for directions." I stop the car and wait for him to get out.

"I'm sorry." He turns to me to face me completely.

He always is.

"Okay. Do I drive or you'll walk?" I ask him.

"Cher, I'll leave if you tell me to. But right now, I don't want to."

Don't face him, Cher. Don't do it. Don't.

But I can't. His voice is so calm, it sounds like a beautiful melody. Our eyes lock, and he's so calm. He looks genuinely sorry, and he always looks genuinely sorry, but why is it different this time? Why can't he always be this calm?

"I know that I'm always on guard. But I can't control it, Cher." He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I haven't talked to anyone other than Eric for almost two years now. You're the first person I even try to be friends with. People are always after me. They're always asking questions, that's why I hate questions so much. And I know that you're not trying to unravel anything about my past, but my mind is always defensive. And for that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yell at you or snap at you. I don't mean to. You're a good person and you don't have to tolerate this, Cher."

Surprise doesn't cover it. Amazement doesn't quite explain how I feel right now. It takes a second or two for his words to sink in. He told me that he is trying to be my friend. He wants to be my friend. I feel my lips stretch into a wide gaping grin. He is being honest. Even though he didn't give me a lot, but it feels like he did. He opened up the door just this teeny itty bit for me.

"Why're you smiling like that?" He is fighting a smile.

"No reason."

"No reason? Your smile is going to break your face." He laughs.

"Whatever." I can't wipe the smile off my face. "You need some serious medication, though." I tell him.

"No, I don't." He turns back in his seat and crosses his arms, "I'll just try and stop snapping at you."

"That'll be perfect." I say, "Plus, I'll be your most amazing friend in this world that you won't need anyone else."

Obviously, people have stayed away from him, feared him, hated him. I don't know why I'm not scared of him, not even after what Adrian told me. I don't know if it's because I trust that my mother would never put me in danger, or that I feel okay around him. But whatever it is, it doesn't make me fear him.