Five Words

Chapter 38

~Ace

A year earlier...

We brought our own house. We have one with an extra room for Eric to stay over whenever he felt like it. A clean slate is what this is. Or that is what my mom is hoping it would be. Mom's business is starting to bloom back into its original state. Her reputation is gradually becoming better. She still fights the rumors. She still struggles to seal the deal with important clients because of the time I have served in juvie. But she is slowly rising again.

Life is the same. Every day I get my fair share of insults, bullying, and condescending stares from everyone. I don't complain though. It won't get better if I do so. I just keep quiet and mind my own business.

One thing has changed. Even though we bought a house and even though my mom is climbing the ladder to success, and even though I see that she smiles more often, my mom seems sadder than ever. She seems like she is carrying the weight of the world on top of her shoulders. I don't know what she is going through. I ask but all I get out of her is that she is pressured from work. I know that it's impossible. My mother is a workaholic. She loves her job and when it becomes stressful, she would go through it with a smile and more determination than ever. So her lies aren't fooling me, yet I don't pressure her more.

And today is the day I get filled in on everything she has been dealing with.

I walk into the house after school and I hear pleas. The pleas of the same person who yelled at me, whose words tugged at the strings of my heart.

It is my father.

"Please, Paulina, please. I beg you to give me a chance to make things right for you and Ace." I hear his voice breaking.

I stay beside the door. I try to decide whether I should feel pain or anger towards him.

"Harold, get out of my house. I am tired of this." Her voice drips with pain, "I am tired of your calls and texts and your sudden appearances at my door. We are over, Harold."

"No, baby. Don't say that. I--"

"Don't." My mother warns him, "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't believe in him. I am sorry I--"

"I am so sick of listening to your excuses. I don't care. You should've stayed, Harold." She yells at him with so much rage, "He is your son. You abandoned him when he needed you the most. Do you have any idea how miserable he was when you left me that day in the hospital? Do you know how many times he begged me to go after you? He knew how much I loved you and how much you meant to me that he favored my happiness over his. He was so ready to be alone than to see me lose my husband. He learned that from you. And you left. You left him there lying, helpless, claiming that he is faking it."

I hear his soft sobs and I can imagine what he looks like right now.

"He needed his father to support him. That is all he ever wanted and you took that from him. you took his father from him, and I can never--"

"Don't say it." He begs her, "Don't say it, please. I don't want to hear it."

"Harold, leave."

"I will leave and I will not bother you again, I swear. But only if you look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore."

I rub my eyes and decide to interrupt them because I know that she can never give up her love for him. I walk into the room and to my surprise, my mom's eyes are managing to maintain all the tears, letting them pool around but not down. They both turn when they see me and my father tries to smile at me.

"Son."

I flinch away when he says that. Son? After all the times he told me that I was no son of his, he dares to call me that.

"I'm sorry--"

I interrupt him.

"I will say this calmly, and I hope you listen. Don't call my mom. Don't text her. Don't come near her. Don't even think about thinking about her. She has told you to stay away from her and she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with you. if that doesn't prove that she is not in love with you anymore then I don't know what will." I feel my mother grip my arm.

I haven't noticed that I was stepping closer to him.

"Now, leave our house and never come near it again."

"Ace, I'm sorry. All I am asking for is one chance. I know that I fucked up and it is not easy to forgive me but just try to consider it. I miss you both." His eyes well up with tears.

Where were these tears when I was sentenced? Where were they when I was lying on the hospital bed wanting his support? These tears will not help me now nor will they fix the damage he has done.

"Get out of our house before I call the cops."

"Paulina..." He looks at her expectantly but she shuts him down.

"Leave, Harold." Her voice quivers and her walls are slowly breaking down.

"Leave now." I point to the front door and he doesn't let it up.

"Be angry at me, Ace. Yell at me. Hit me. Do something but don't just shut me out. Anything."

He wants a reaction, but I won't give him one. I won't show him that I care about him.

"I'll say it one last time. Get out of our house."

"I won't unless you consider giving our family another shot."

Family? He is not part of it. At least that is what I think.

I break free from my mother's grasp and I move towards him and when I reach him, I grab him by the arm. I make sure to dig my nails into his arms to hurt him for just a fracture of a second. I drag him to the front door.

"Ace, don't fight with him."

Oh, how I want to beat him. But I won't for her sake and mine. I can't risk anyone seeing me beating the shit out of him. I don't want probation or warnings.

I swing the front door open and push him outside.

"Stay out of our lives." I sneer, "Now, turn your back and walk away just like you did that day."

I slam the door with so much force that I can feel the ground vibrating beneath me.

"I'm sorry." My mother begins, "I tried to keep him outside but he was causing a scene and--"

I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull her to me. She relaxes in my arms and then it starts. A great sob escapes her and she buries her face in my chest. I hold her quivering figure between my arms. I try to hold her up, but her knees aren't supporting her as her sobs become heavier. I fall with her to the ground and I keep her there. That is all I can do. I can't heal her. I can't fix her broken heart. I can't lift some of the weight she feels on her chest. I can't will her pain to disappear. All I can do is hold her in my embrace and hope that she will get better. That it will get better.

Our family fell apart. Our hearts broke. Our ways divided. All because of my love for Sarah.

Fuck you, Sarah Keyes.