"Dada?"
Nakangiting nilingon ko ang anak habang nasa kusina na abalang nagluluto ng hapunan.
Nagpakarga ito ay umupo sa sink, binalik ko naman ang aking tingin sa mga hinihiwa ko.
"What is it, Casper?" Nakangiting tanong ko kase panay parin ang tingin nito sa akin.
Until now, he's already 4 years old but his eyes are mesmerizing, napaka fluent nitong mag Ingles at pati narin sa wikang pambansa.
Wala kase dito ang asawa ko kaya kami lang ni Casper ang natira, kase day-off ko naman tapos babalik na si Kuya galing Japan kase tapos na yung kontrata n'ya don'.
"I was just wondering, Dada." He smiled playing with his bare fingers while wiggling his adorable feet.
Ang cute ng anak ko, compatible talaga kami ni Cassandra.
"Dada, what do you fear the most?" Inosente n'yang tanong.
"Losing your mom, you, our whole family and even our friends. That's what I fear the most." I immediately replied without any thoughts of hesitation.
Naramdaman ko itong puwesto ng naka indian sit tapos deretsong nakatingin sa mga gulay na hinihiwa ko.
Binilisan ko naman ang paghiwa at agad na inilagay sa gilid kase malapit naring matapos ang ibang dishes kaya isusunod ko na ito.
Kinuha ko sa sink si Casper at inilagay sa kandungan ko while I'm sitting on our large red sofa kase naka on narin yung TV.
"Then let me ask you this time, baby. What do you fear the most?" Nakangiting tanong ko.
I was expecting the same answers or common ones such as spiders, dark, losing and etc. But what he said surprised me and left my jaw hanging.
Saglit itong nag-isip bago ako sinagot.
"What I fear the most is the unstoppable movement of time leading us to uncertain and unpredictable time of death." Deretsong sagot n'ya without blinking.
Ha?
Anak ko ba talaga ito?
"May I ask why, Baby?" I asked still smiling even I'm damn confused inside.
He showed me his fingers. "How many fingers do you see, Dada?"
"Five.." I answered still confused.
"If I don't show you my fingers, will you still be able to guess how many fingers we or I have?" Tanong nya.
I nodded still confused talaga!
"Yes, because mostly humans are born with 5 fingers and toes, although there are other cases such as special or PWD children but humans are usually born with five fingers." I explained.
Tumango ito at ngumiti. Agad naman nagsitayuan ang mga balahibo ko.
"You're right Dada. You already know even I don't show you how many fingers I have become you already know about it. However, death is a different story. We all know that we are all gonna die, we can all guess that we are going to die soon, but what makes this scarier is that we don't know how and when is our death. Knowing that even if you make the healthiest and safest choices, death was never an exemption because it's all for us and we'll reach it soon. It's in short, it's a little saddening that death can never be avoided and until now, it's still remain as unsolved mystery. In our mind, we know that we are all gonna face death but we don't know how and when, we can only think of the possibilities but we can't really reach the main objective."
I gulped many times. I know that we can all think but he's four for Pete's sake!
I look at him maintaining my posture.
"What will you do if you know how and when will be your death." I asked hoping for a different answer.
"I will do nothing." He said.
"Why?"
"Because death was never been predictable, I know you're testing my thoughts but in reality we cannot just simply say that we will be able to avoid it because the truth is we can't. So your question doesn't deserve any factual answers however any opinions will do."
I did my best not to be taken down by my own son! Dapat ako yung nagtuturo sa kanya.
I came back to my senses when I heard his sad and cracking voice followed by his tight embrace. His little arms wrapping my arms while his abdomen is rested on mine. Niyakap ko ang anak pabalik at mahinang hinimas himas ang likod nito. Any minutes, he's about to cry.
"Casper? You crying?"Mahinang tanong ko habang patuloy parin sa pagyakap sa kanya.
He sniffs. His handsome face faced mine, his eyes are teary and cheeks are reddening.
"I know we can't avoid death, Dada but I'm scared that someday I would lose you and mama." He sniffs.
I stilled. Then I realized that my son was never afraid of the unstoppable time but he is more scared that anytime, he will lose us.
We had the same answers after all pero sosyal lang talaga at mas malalim parin yung sa kanya.
I felt deeply sad when I understand his statement, he's right because nothing is permanent in this world, time will come that we will be leaving everyone in this world and that is also, leaving Casper behind. I stopped myself from crying because I know it and I realized it fully just now.
Someday, iiwan din namin si Casper because that's life. Tatanda at mamamatay kami.
Mahinang hinaplos ko ang pisnge ng anak at masuyong hinalikan.
"I am also afraid of leaving you but the good news it, since death is unpredictable, we can enjoy and live to the fullest without thinking of being scared. Because life is full of surprises, huwag nating pangunahan ng takot ang mga sarili natin kase napakamatagal pa non, time will come that you will fully understand the concept of life that you will face it without any worries and pain. For now, focus in the present, let the future decides for you and of course, create good choices and you're good to go. Leave everything in the past but not the lesson, face the present with full determination and proud then face the future with hope and courage. life is two choices, face bad times and face good times but we'll be experiencing it both, that's what makes us fair. Kaya huwag kang mag-aalala, di naman agad kami mawawala ng mommy mo. Nandito kami sa tabi hanggat magiging maputi na ang mga buhok namin." I laughed.
His saddening eyes became lighter and it even glows. He really understands kaya he don't wanna ask more questions about it kase alam kong naiintindihan na n'ya.
"Salamat, Dada." He said then kissed my cheeks.
Our giggles were heard in the whole house not knowing that something is burnt in the kitchen.
The next day, our house was filled with my Wife's voice echoing the whole city.
I'm doomed.
BINABASA MO ANG
In Love With Her Thorns (GxG)
Romance(COMPLETED) A ruthless and cold hearted professor living in a prosperous life, Cassandra Lundy Belos, 27 years old woman teaching in Sulvan University who suddenly became a scholar sponsor of a korean transferee, Subin Lee which became the center of...
