Ona Aria's Poetry Collection (2022-2024)

You Know What's Funny?

You know what's funny, in fact is hilarious.
The idea I am there for everyone, but no one remembers me.
If I were to ghost, nobody would miss me Offline for a week
They wouldn't blink
They wouldn't wonder "Ona where did she go,"
Away into ashes, Months could go by and still It would be as if I died,
 no one to honor my memory.
 I have people I talk to, but I don't have anyone who'd miss me.
 It's so funny to me in fact it's hilarious
How ignored I am in this space of loneliness.
You know it's rather sad, when I like it here
The likeness of loneliness is all I've ever chosen to know
A part of many people's lives but none are a part of mine
They are apart from me, away into the breeze. If I was gone, No one would wonder "Ona.. where did she go,"
The vibrancy of the party would wither away, and no one would think " I wonder why"
... They would let the memory of me die.
People say they would miss me, but months could go by, years even and no one would remember the face of none.
The none that sits in the back of the classroom gathering dust,
The imperfect cracks that make up bookshelves in un-visited book shops going out of business for not selling books.
I am the book that is never chosen and read.
 My cover daunting: The book that is passed by because it doesn't have the new leather bindings.
You know what's funny to me, in fact it's hilarious I am the one that's never chosen. Never known beyond what people want.
My soul is so known with alone that fully being without anyone would bother me none
Those words drip like water in the basin of my fears.
Its untrue, but you know it's easier to let people forget then to fight for them to stay.
If they wanted to stay, they would, why must I always put fourth effort...?
Why is it always me that is the one seen chasing.
Why must my feet bleed to be seen? Why must I chase fleeting feelings.
Why must I be the one that gives it all with nothing in return
Friendship to me is so exhausting Is it not better to let it go falling
Sky diving off a cliff, If people wished to be near me
They would bring me in their circles
 Or perhaps I would arrive and not treat myself as a ghost
But a ghost is all I've ever been.
Never seen beyond what people wish me to be.
 Never knowing the amount of loneliness beneath these eyes.
It is killing me knowing if I were to die
 Nobody would miss me.
Truly they might grieve for a while.
But I know that eventually my presence would dwindle in their minds.
Once the chance of getting to know me was ripped out like a page in a book
All anyone would see is the missing pages in the book that was never read.
It's kind of funny if I were to vanish.
No one would wonder where I had been, No one would question or miss me
, But I know those are lies twisting around me like vines made into a noose
And yet I cannot cut loose the daunting thoughts
That perhaps I am better off being a ghost.
It's hard knowing that rock bottom is all I will ever know.
That friendship is fleeting and here I will sit bleeding.
With no hand to hold, or perhaps the hands are there but the darkness is clogging my vision.
I hear the words "We should hang out" Translate "I Like you, but I am too busy to remember you,"
Why fight your way out of a space of void that has always been considered home?
To hone the idea of being alone. The bags under my eyes are proof of my cries.
Knowing if I were to die, then people would miss; they would listen to the words I've said like haunting tunes.
Tunes that would drive them mad knowing I am the one they never had,
The friend that was always there when things were bad.
When the rocks were sliding in others' lives, But no one was there for me.
 They only ever pretend to be.
Emotional manipulating... Friendship is never what it seems.
For friends can break your heart to, So, it's better to not have them.