Ona Aria's Poetry Collection (2022-2024)

Forgotten

Forgotten and left behind. Ignored is my piece of mind. Align with the truth that I will never be chosen. Hosing down any dreams...
People only see me as a scheme to manipulate.
It's been that way since my eyes first opened.
When my screaming wails of birth.
 I was never going to be nursed.
 I was always looked at as something to use.
I am no one's muse.
 My quiet song is not heard.
 I am a lonely bird singing to a mate that will never return call.
Like the lonesome whale that sings at a tune no other whale can hear.
Constantly pushed aside
My soul it cries
To be included is all I want.
 But I am used to it being not.
Manipulation at its highest, See I am just an uncalled-for riot.
 I feel it in my bones. I am left here. With no home.
I'm so done I am so tired; I can no longer conspire any plans to try any harder.
My effort has been beat.
I'm so done. I am so tired of having none.
My portion scraped.
My scraps are bare. The under-table eater of despair.
Anxiety and Panic are my only friends
In the dark drastic nights, no one comes to save me from my vice.
I am like stone cold ice when they try to get near me
My barbwire heart clamping around them. Hysteria.
I am sat in the staging area of the disaster that is me.
My heart it hurts so badly it seeps through my chest.
I cannot attest to the amount of pain that is in my soul.
Fragmented into three people because if I wasn't, I would explode
The load is too much to bare, too much to handle. I am drowning by the weight of my assailants.
So weak and frail from the war. The battle that I must win, and the wars in my soul
I just want to be chosen and loved.
But I am just shoved around. Covered in my own blood.
 Bound by my own mistakes, with no saving grace.
 Only chosen by the Lord, He cradles me like no other.
 I am caught up in the abode of his love. Without it. I would simply drown. Hounded down by my own worst enemy.
Me.
 Can everyone let me die? Would they speak over my grave if I was painted pale white?
It feels as though people don't know how much I am struggling
 Nobody wants to hear how much I want to put myself away.
But hey, I won't do that. I know some people care and for them I live.
I'm so sick and tired I scream at the sky. Not mad at God.
It's silly to blame him. But here I am screaming anyways.
 I am not asking for anything I just need to scream.
Elohim is always there for me.
Even though my self-esteem is tanking.
And I feel the breaking. The waters that cover me are healing you see.
 While I scream and cry, he holds me up high.
 I am never without love, and angels in the room.
 I don't have to assume I am alone.
Although I forget, and fear consumes me.
He will always be there.