Ona Aria's Poetry Collection (2022-2024)

The Way You Love

The way you love me scares me.
I am sorry it's just the way I know it to be.
There was a long time that I couldn't see how it was meant.
Like looking through a keyhole on everything I wanted.
 The pictures haunted, daunted. I just wished with everything in me to be loved.
But the moment you do my whole body is sent reeling.

 The person in me yells "It's all too much" With a knife and a scared look in her eyes.
High up in the clouds surrounded by walls and mountains is where I sit.
I wish I didn't make the climb so difficult.
Its magnificent ...significant how you make me feel, I can't believe this moment has come to be.
You make me feel safe. 
I have been running for so long that I didn't know how to stop.
 Atop the pain that I had always felt, the longing, the wishing.
the breathing
the dying with every ache.
The moments that I craved were like an Oasis in the desert, ever present but unmoving.
 Ever inching closer but moving farther.
The darkness creeping around me like vines, roots.
Wrapping me, concealing me.
 But not healing me
 See healing was such a different species that I didn't know how to put the upgrade into my soul. I was just a little girl who was tossed into the darkness with nothing but her heart to keep her warm.

Nothing was good enough...
Every time she let herself out that is when the strikes would happen.
I just need you to know that the damaged soul in me is an error code displayed on the screen. 

I needed a special kind of technician.
Sent to submission and no cognition in my brain.
Bowing down to whatever decided to love me but you lit the ignition on my soul, and it makes me feel weird that's all I am saying.

 With you its carefree.
 Nothing I can see but me and you.
A world built to keep the princess safe.
You make me feel like sleeping beauty.
 You have such a duty to uphold and shoes to fill and you fill them so nicely.
Tightly worn clothes, dressed nicely.

The way you walk the way you talk; the class is nothing short of an upgrade.
I was betrayed several times over; the pain was beyond what I could stand.
 I was reprimanded by myself, hit several times over with emotional pain that I didn't think I could survive.
 Sorrow that was more like drowning.
 Drowning down into the abyss of myself.
The dark hole that I couldn't get out of, suffocating on land.
In the darkness of the forest but you are my meadow.
I know that I can just go with the flow, you know.
I think I can be myself with you.
I am proud to call you husband. 
My vow to you is to be the best wife you've ever had. 
I will no longer be sad having your love in this heart of mine. 
I am so glad I met you...
I love you.
-Fin-