Honey bear 🐻 🍯

2.3

Cw: there is mention of sa throughout this chapter and abuse through out childhood. Nothing is in detail tho 💗

A few weeks had passed and Jin and Joonie grew closer , both in and out of little space. Joonie still had most of his wall up , he doesn't think he will ever have it fully down . He doesn't talk , it doesn't even matter if he is older in headspace , he doesn't talk much . "Joonie, sweetheart, let's get your rain boots  and jacket on." Jin said calling the boy down. The little came down with a pair of jeans and a cute button up sweater, with a cute little bow pinning his long hair back. He had his paci in his mouth, sucking his paci gently. "Nini" Joonie said softly, smiling at the older. Jin has been nothing but understanding , gentle and kind with joon. He is so so grateful for him. "Hey baby, you happy to see me love" Jin said attacking Joon's face with kisses . Hearing his giggles was such a happy sound. Jin dressed the boy, they were headed to go grocery shopping. "Let's go get some groceries"Jin said walking with Joonie to the car. Joon sat quietly in the seat , Jin driving, the ride was silent but not one that is uncomfortable. "Baby? Let's go get something to drink before we get groceries" Jin said getting Namjoon's attention. "Otay" joon said quietly .

"Baby we are here, let's go" . They walk in , holding hands , that seems to ease his nerves. "Do you know what you want ? Or something new love?" "Can I have new pwease?" "Of course baby? Did you want something warm or cold" "warm pwease" "ok I'll go order. Hey can I get an warm chai latte with vanilla and less cinnamon and an iced Americano, with one chocolate brownie Cookie please" "yeah of course, can I get a name for the order please?" The barista said, "Seokjin" Jin said with a smile. Jin moved off to the side , holding onto joons hand , bringing him close. "Tanks nini" Joon whispered. "Your welcome love" Jin said placing a kiss on Joon's cheek.
Jin went over to get his coffee, leaving Namjoon off to the side; there was too many people for Joon to follow behind. Joon could hear laughing from behind him , he could feel people staring at him "hey freak, you dropped Your binki"some guy said laughing at Joon , "oh, sorry" Joon said quietly, reaching down to grab his paci, the guy grabbed the pacifier before Joon could. He started waving it all over the place , "can't grab huh? Do you want me to put it in your mouth" the guy said in a mocking tone. Joon stood there not wanting to talk , he grew anxious, he should probably go get Jin. "Cat gotch your tongue? Speak up! You want your binki come and get it, a big man baby like you can't reach it?" The guy kept taunting him. "Pwease stop" Joon mumbled out , "for a guy tall and big like you, you can't even stand up for yourself? How lame" the guy said laughing. " dude leave him be" one of his friends said after they saw his tears. "What? Freaks like him deserve to be humiliated" the guy said like it was obvious. "Let's just go, give him his thing back" his friend said dragging him out, the rude guy threw it at him as he left. Joon bent down and grabbed it , moving more off to the side since a bunch of people saw what happened . Not everyone saw everything, since it was busy. Joon was what you would call the gentlest of giants, he is so sweet and kind. Jin was taller than Joon by a good 10 centimetres. Joon always felt smaller compared to everyone in reality he isn't but he feels that way , that may have been because he was and still is constantly put down , humiliated and degraded.

"Ready to go love? Let's go get some groceries" Jin said smiling at Namjoon. Jin still hasn't figured out certain things about Joon yet. Namjoon is the best at hiding how he feels. They made their way to the car . Joon was so cute in his yellow rain jacket and boots.

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Jin walked with bags in one hand and Joonie holding his other. Joon was still nervous going out in public. he didn't like being little in public. His old daddy, he would punish Namjoon if he found out Namjoon went out in public when he was little. Namjoon tended to slip at the worst times possible or he couldn't get out of little space , sometimes he wouldn't slip for days or weeks because he felt so guilty.Namjoon uses his little space to get back his childhood and try to cope with the sexual abuse and abuse he faced as a kid and leading up to now. There was never a time where Joon didn't have bruises or welts on him. His bruises from a few weeks prier are still quite visible. "Love, wanna go pick out some fruit? I'll be right behind you" Jin asked the little, joon nodded . Joon walked towards the strawberries, he looked at Jin for permission to put the berries in the cart. He can't just assume Jin will say yes, that's what brats do. Joon has been making sure he is not a bother to anyone, he has been using the potty instead of his diaper. That was too pathetic of him, he couldn't have Jin changing him. Joon asked way too much of Jin already. So you could say Joon has been lying to Jin , joon hasn't been fully regressed . Joon has been around the age of 3-5 lately but when he alone he slips almost fully but he holds himself back not wanting to wet himself. Jin thinks Namjoon has been sleeping more but he hasn't, joon is barely sleeping. "You can get those baby, did you see anything else?"jin said taking the strawberries and placing them in the cart. Joon wasn't sure , he didn't like making decisions like this , it overwhelmed him , like a lot. He looked down at the ground , he wasn't sure what he wanted or what he was allowed to get, what if he picked the wrong thing. So he stayed silent, looking down at his hands. This wasn't even a big decision , it was fairly easy. Joon was overwhelmed, maybe because he hasn't truly been little in a few weeks. "It doesn't matter hyungie , i-i am gwood with anything" joon said quietly. "Alright love". Jin picked out some fresh produce for the week , he meal planed the dinners for the week, so he had a list for everything. Joon followed Jin , he didn't say much throughout the shopping experience. Last time Joon was here with Jin , he was berated and harassed by Jackson and a group of university students. That's one of the reasons why Joon is afraid of fully slipping, he is constantly made fun of because he has to wear diapers. Maybe his old daddy was right , that he shouldn't be seen little. Joon is an embarrassment while he is little , he probably looks so stupid in his outfit. Joon doesn't express what he is thinking, he keeps it to himself. He was taught that his feelings were to be never shared, that he was not important . He was silent the rest of the shopping, playing with the bags Jin had him carrying. He wasn't sure how much longer he could last in this older headspace, he was aware of everything. At least when he was in a younger headspace he could only understand certain things; like the tone of someone's voice , very simple words or reading peoples emotions. Sometimes little him did understand everything that was being said. He told Jin that he has been feeling better so that's why he is older in headspace. That was a complete lie. "We are almost done love , then we can go back home" Jin said softly, Jin felt like something was off. Joonie nodded shyly, keeping his head down. Joonie really really wanted to be in his normal headspace , it isn't his preferred headspace but it's the best he can do that keeps him safe. Little Joonie hasn't been in his preferred headspace since his ex touched him and did nasty things to him while he was so little he couldn't keep his head up. He likes being so little where everything is fuzzy and he doesn't have to worry about what is happening around him or his problems. He can't have that safe space anymore because of what had happened, his trust with anyone is none existent. His ex would take advantage of him no matter what age he was in headspace.little Joonie was a big people pleaser. His old daddy made sure to pressure or just do as he pleased with Namjoon. Namjoon was terrified of his ex , if Namjoon just even breathed too loudly he was slapped so hard there was a hand print. Jin isn't aware of that , no one is , not fully at least. "Let's go pay baby" Jin said gently grabbing the bags from Joon . Joon was pretty anxious and out of it , "oh , sorry" , Jin took the bags , did he do something wrong? Probably, he always does. Him and Jin walked to the cash , walking behind his hyung. He didn't want to be in the way. "Joon do you want to go and stand at the end? I'm going to put everything up" Jin said motioning for Joon to go to the end of the cash. Joon stood there , wide does eyes watching everything. "Joon , I forgot to grab something.I'll be right back" Jin said leaving . "Aren't you a little old to be wearing that? It's pretty tacky" the cashier lady said. "Oh" Joon said quietly. "Are you like one of those adult baby freaks" she continued, "you probably piss yourself for pleasure, the thought of that makes me sick. " no he doesn't, he hasn't had an accident in weeks. " don't you think you're too old and manly to dress like a baby? Is this like a cutesy aesthetic? Because you look disgusting" the cashier questioned . Those sentences broke his heart, him hearing his thoughts become a reality. He felt a few tears drip down , quickly wiping them. "I'm sorry" Joon said quietly, he would make sure to take this off once he got home. "I won't wear it anymore" he told the cashier, you could hear his voice crack. He didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, he didn't mean to. "Maybe take consideration of others , I didn't consent to participating in your disgusting kink. Don't you think about anyone else? The guy you are with is probably so embarrassed to be seen with you, you look so fucking gross. Does he know what type of shit you take part of? Does he know that you act like a baby to get off" this wasn't anything sexual, none of it was. He never wanted his safe place to be looked at in a sexual way. Little Joonie doesn't even know what sex is , he doesn't even know what anything sexual is."I understand" Joon replied, ashamed of himself. "Ok , I'm back ! I apologize for the wait" " no worries mister" the cashier said to Jin in a flirtatious manner. Jin ignored her , continuing to pack up the groceries. Jin finished packing, and the two made their way out .