3 am (l.h.)

2.0

Luke

Audrey's been drinking more than she should be. She stays over at our apartment almost every night. I finally locked down a job as a bag boy at our local grocery store, so I'm gone most of the day, but Audrey stays at my apartment. I love coming home to her, I really do. I just wish I didn't come home to a drunken mess every night.

For the first week of her excessive drinking, she was incredibly happy. She bounced all over the place and kissed me constantly. After that week passed, she started to be destructive. I would come home to a broken vase or alcohol spilled all over the kitchen. More often than not, she'd be crying when I got home, usually on the floor.

I have to call the guys most nights and warn them to steer clear of my room.

Tonight is one of those nights.

I walk through the door to the sounds of shattering glass on a wall. "Audrey, I'm coming!"

I hear a thump on the floorboards of the living room, probably her falling into a crumpled mess on the ground.

Walking in, I see her red face with hair stuck to her cheek with tears. Trying not to sigh, I walk over to her and pull her into my chest. "It's okay. I'm here."

I get her into bed and she almost immediately passes out. I call the guys and tell them what's going on. "I'm sorry, I know it's like this every night, but at least she's passed out this time so she won't keep you up." With each call, I hear a sigh and a groan. I hate this.

I get into bed with Audrey and pull her close to me. It's been a month since I gave her my key, three weeks since the drinking started, and 13 days since she got bad. I feel like I'm counting down to something. A big breakdown? Another hospital? Recovery?

The lights are off and Audrey stands up, running to the bathroom. Same thing as always.

I follow her and hold back her hair. After she rinses out her mouth, I lead her back to my room and hand her the pack of gum that I'm now accustomed to keep next to my bed.

I cradle her, but she doesn't go back to sleep like usual. Instead she starts humming a song that I recognize from the CD she went out and bought me on the one good day that she's had the past few weeks. I kiss the top of her head and get up put the CD on, skipping to track number 11.

I lay back down with her, my arms wrapped around her torso, her facing away from me.

"Luke?" she says quietly. I can't even recognize the sarcastic, funny girl that I met three months ago.

"Hm?" I hum against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

I sigh. "I know."

"I'm trying," she whispers. "I'm trying so hard."

"I know that, too."

We lay like that for what feels like forever, or maybe it's just a second. I hum along to the music playing, and rock back and forth slowly.

"I love you," she whispers.

My breath hitches, and I can't help but smile as she turns to look at me. "I love you too, bestie."

Tears slip from her eyes, but she's smiling. "Why?"

"Why do I love you?"

"Yes."

I think for a minute. "There are a million reasons, but none of them matter. I love you because I love you. It's a feeling that I can't describe. I don't know exactly why I feel this way, but I know that I do feel this way, and that's what matters."

I kiss her cheeks and dry her eyes with the sleeves of my shirt. "It feels like forever since I've seen you smile," she whispers. "I've known I've loved you for a while, but I was too scared to say it. But I just realized that I haven't seen you smile like you used to in weeks. That's what gave me the courage to say it. The slight chance that you might smile like before."

I smile as wide as I can and kiss her lips. "I'm going to call in sick to work in the morning."

"No, I won't let you do that for me-" she begins, but I press my index fingers to her lips.

"I want to do it, not just for you, but for me. I want to be with you when you're not crying. I want to see the Audrey that I know."

She smiles, and tries to hide her eyes so I won't see her cry. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Stop saying that, babe. I wouldn't still be with you if I didn't want to deal with the messes you make." She kisses me and I pull her into my chest. It's the first time in forever that we've slept face to face. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispers groggily.

I kiss the top of her head. "Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

She nods and I feel her relax. I hum along to the music playing as we both drift off to sleep.

I love her.

____________________

Started off sad but it's kinda happy

Thought I'd give you guys another cute lovey-dovey chapter before... other stuff happens

Almost 600 reads what?!

I might get 5sos/hey violet tickets for a graduation present !!

Chapter dedicated to hannahhhj for writing "asylum" and "rehab" abt the non-romanticized reality of mental illness so thanks for that. Exposure in the media about mental illness and recovery from said illnesses is really important to show people that no matter what you've been through, you can be okay

k ur great

ONE MORE THING another Half Moon Run song is on the side bc their album is what audrey got for luke and the song they listen to in this chapter is Fire Escape

k bye

-Lo