3 am (l.h.)

3.1

Luke

It's been almost a month since I proposed, and we haven't left the house much. We had the guys come over the next night to announce our engagement, and I called my mom, but we haven't really stepped foot outside the house unless it's for necessities. We just want to be with each other.

"Luke?" I hear Audrey whisper from her side of the bed, poking my cheek. "You awake?"

I chuckle. "If I wasn't then, I am now."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, Auds," I say lightly, wrapping my arms around her torso. "Stop apologizing for everything."

"Sorry," she says quickly, and I let out a laugh. "Sorry! I mean - shit!"

I place my fingertips over her lips. "It's alright, babe. What's up?"

She hums, her lips vibrating against my fingers. "I just can't sleep."

"How long have you been trying to sleep?"

"I don't know, like 20ish minutes?" she says, as if it's a question.

"Did you know," I begin and she groans, sensing a useless fact coming up, "it takes the average person 7 minutes to fall asleep?"

"No, I don't think I did know that."

"What do you wanna hear a fact about?" I mutter, feeling incredibly tired.

She yawns. "Elephants."

"Okay," I start, quickly kissing her head. "African elephants' ears are shaped like the African continent."

"I love it when you talk trivia facts to me, Hemmings."

I stroke her hair and feel myself dozing off, and Audrey starts sleep-breathing.

"I love you."

"Love you back, Auds."

**********

I hear Audrey screaming next to me, and I bolt awake. She's still asleep, but her face is all scrunched up and a shrill sound is coming from her mouth.

"Audrey!" I yell, knowing that it's happening again. I immediately hear Dr. Parsons' voice in my head, telling me to speak soothingly to her. "Audrey," I try again, quietly and soothingly.

She keeps screaming and I try not to panic like usual. I pull her into my body, and hold her arms, trying to stop her from thrashing. Two and a half weeks ago, she was flinging herself around so much during an episode that she hit her head on her bedside table. She still has a bump on the back of her head.

Her breathing is shallow and she keeps screaming and trying to get out of my arms, but I hold her tightly and whisper into her ears. It doesn't really matter what I say, but speaking can help her wake up. I talk about how much I love her and mention the road trip we went on and generally talk at her.

I try some of the deep breathing Dr. Parsons taught me. I know that it's important for me to stay calm in these situations. Her breathing stays rapid and the screaming continues, but it's slightly quieter.

This goes on for 12 minutes before she begins to stir.

"Audrey, I'm right here. I'm Luke, your fiancé, and I'm right here," I reassure her, trying to name our surroundings to her as she wakes up, so she knows where she is. "You are in our house and it's 3 a.m. We're sitting in our bed. It's average temperature, not too hot but not too cold. I'm holding you and talking to you. You are sitting in this bed. That's where we are."

"Luke," she gets out, but it sounds like she can't breathe, and tears are streaming down her face.

"Yeah, babe, I'm right here."

Her breathing begins to steady and she buries her head in my chest.

We stay like that for a while, just listening to each other's breathing.

Eventually, Audrey pulls away from me and looks down at the bed, avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Audrey, it's okay," I tell her, and I mean it. I grab her pill bottle and the bottle of water that we've become accustomed to keep on the nightstand, and I hand her two small tablets and the water. She swallows them without hesitation.

"No it's not," she says. She says it like she wants to yell, but can't because she's so worn down. "You shouldn't have to deal with me like this."

"It's really fine. Let's stop worrying about me, okay?" I ask before she can object.

"Okay."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess," she sighs. "I just don't know why this is suddenly happening to me." She rests her head in her hands, clearly frustrated and crazy tired.

"Dr. Parsons said night terrors can be brought on by stress, and big things have been happening," I remind her. "Us getting engaged, Sophia is still on your mind, we moved only a few months ago. You've got plenty to be stressed about."

Audrey nods. "I guess."

"Tomorrow's Sunday so we don't have to work," I tell her, smiling as wide as possible, not because I really feel happy, but because she needs it right now. "Wanna go rewatch Avatar?"

"Last Airbender, right?" she asks. "Not that terrible movie."

"No, of course not that movie. Last Airbender all the way. Let's go!"

A smile tugs are her lips as I grab her hand and challenge her to race me to the living room.

She wins.

____________________

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra have officially taken over my life oops

Btw I've done a lot of research on night terrors, but if I make any mistakes in accuracy, let me know

SHE'S KINDA HOT IS A GIFT FROM GOD OKAY I NEED TO CHILL BUT LIKE IT'S INCREDIBLE

Also Hey Violet's EP is ah mae zing

I'm sosososo happy to bring this story back. I missed #laudrey like crazy and some weird shit is coming for them okay

Oh and this chapter is dedicated to tomlintea_ for writing "Braces" bc you guys know all too well that I love mental illness portrayed in a healthy way to people who might not know a lot about it. For those of you who haven't read it, it's about a girl with disassociative identity disorder (aka DID), which, fun fact about me, I have spent hours on hours studying for fun bc it interests me so much. So thanks for writing that, tomlintea_, and I can't wait to finish it!

Update on my life: I moved and it's super stressful but I've been going to therapy and taking my meds and writing a lot and watching tv and I'm coping really well so that's p rad

Alright it's late and I should go

Love y'all

k bye

-Lo