Uthando lwabaphansi.

chapter 51

Nomzamo's POV

It's been a week since mpumelelo's death today it's a Saturday the day of mpumelelo's funeral!!
I make my bed slowly while thinking about everything I've been so numb

Luthando went back home Monday and naledi came to check up on me she had this scholarship thing she was busy with that's all I actually heard from her honestly

The family has been really off it u don't blame them I'm like that too there's just that drift between us all and it's all because if one person ma came to check up on me Tuesday and I basically zoned out and ended up crying in her arms that's all I do these days

I've been having the same dreams over and over again it's like someone is actually trying to call me somewhere to a place and honestly I'm getting frustrated because I don't know what to do

The only thing I've been doing is curling myself up on the bed and just zoning out honestly and just watching the sun from my room there were some days where I deprived myself food

My parents lol the have been through it all with me well Im afraid of actually letting people in and unfortunately they are one of the people I can't even talk to them I just feel like I'm wasting my time and the only thing I do is just cry

They don't actually stay at the dlaminis,ma and mam dlamini have been helping mpumelelo's mother with the funeral arrangements till this week mom didn't even know his mother

I also have never met his mother but then seeing will only just reduce the guilt inside of me why do I feel like I am the one that killed him !!???

Nkosenye's POV

It's been a hell of a week !!
The entire week I tried consoling myself with alcohol after alcohol after alcohol it just kinda helped to ease the pain and luckily there's a bar in this mansion and they just couldn't defuse my instructions

Nomzamo is still pushing everybody away I don't even want to try the guilt just eats me up
I claim to like her but still during this time I'm not even there for her I just don't know what to do

I went back to the storage room on Wednesday and came upon toys I used to play with mpumelelo and our old friendship photos man I miss him like damn crazy it even hurts

Today is unfortunately the worst day of my entire life ,the day that I lay my best friend to rest at his final place I'm hoping he can actually find peace though I don't think I'm ever going to make peace with what happened

Day and night I sit in my room patiently waiting for someone to just come out of somewhere holding a camera with mpumelelo behind them and they can tell me it's all just a joke (prank ) or it's just a nightmare

Olwethu has tried reaching out to me along with my mom ,amahle has been mute everytime we sit and talk or sit down as a family everybody is a mess except for olwethu one would swear he is the one who killed him the way he is so relaxed about all of this

I know he's also hurting but trying so hard to actually hold it deep inside of him
I take my towel and head for a shower when I'm finally done and feeling all fresh I dry and lotion my body

Luthando's POV

Today is the hardest day of the week the day we finally lay mpumelelo to rest this whole week I have been trying to be there for Nomzamo she may push us away but one thing I know is that we all do love her a lot

Asembo is like crap I don't want to lie he's a motherfuckin walking mess but then I get him he lost a best friend and a prayer in crime I've tried reaching out to him and he's kindly been corporative