Uthando lwabaphansi.

chapter 115

Khanyisile's POV

I can feel it my time has come and I can hear my ancestors calling me it's such a shame that I had to be lost due to cancer
Hearing that my daughter passed away rose some things in me it made me feel regret and anger that maybe I wasn't a good enough parent shuthi the muthi didn't work

Its already noon by what I have heard it's a friday morning and navigating in this hospital I know that the nurses are far too busy on a Friday I'm guessing lots of accidents

I'm just staring at the ceiling , now and again some few lone tears will just roll down my cheeks envy took me nowhere
The door creaks and I shift my eyes to it and there stands the man that still has my heart till today but  I made some bad decisions

Me:"nkululeko"

My voice is so hoarse and just too weak
He clears his throat and tries maintaining eye contact with me but I just feel so guilty so I shift my eyes away from him

Nkululeko:"khanyisile "

Me:"I'm glad that you came "

Nkululeko:"why am I here ?"

Me:"I'm dying "

Nkululeko:"it's a bit long overdue don't you think ?"

His words were like twisting a sword in my heart they did things to me I know I deserved his wrath like this but nam I'm so a person don't I deserve some love and affection on my last days

Me:"I know you hate me -"

He cuts me off and roars loudly in the room

Nkululeko:"nooo khanyisile I despise you "

Me:"please just hear me out "

Nkululeko:"why ? Khanyi why did you do it ?"

Me:"I......was...scared "

Nkululeko:"you were scared of what !!huh khanyi of what "

Me:"I was scared to tell you at that time I knew how much you wanted kids "

Nkululeko:"but you still did what you did you killed my first child "

Me:"I had to do it I was just saving myself from all the awaiting dissappointment when I finally get attached to the baby "

It wasn't really a miscarriage ,I know I said that

Nkululeko:"I came here and You told me about him you told me about having a son and when I asked you you ,you lied to me"

He says that trying to hold himself from crying this shit got him deep

Me:"I am sorry"

I say that between coughs my body is floating nje it's just too weak

Nkululeko:"you still lied to me you said you had a miscarriage kanti you knew that you .....you are the one that aborted the child "

I walk loudly those are one of the days that I will forever regret ,

Me:"I did what I thought was right "

Nkululeko:"you such a liar "

Me:"please nkululeko please just forgive me I know what I did was wrong "

Nkululeko:"you don't deserve my apology '

Me:"please nkululeko I'm dying please just do me one favour"

Nkululeko:"which is ?"

Me:"okay fine even if you don't forgive me please can I see my grandson "

Nkululeko:"are you crazy why ? So you can use your muthi so he can one day turn away from us "