𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐬𝐤𝐳

consume

i wanted some ryujin romance in this chapter, so in the next one i'll add some felix stuff. i apologize for the end in advance lmao (not proofread)

angsty chapter inspired from "consume - chase atlantic"

being an idol is hard. it's not all sunshine and rainbows. it's overworking yourself. it's going on extremely unhealthy diets to maintain that perfect image. it's companies taking advantage of their idols. 

it hurts when i see little 14 year old trainees sign that contract. signing away their life. promising to overwork themselves until it expires. i was young when i did that too. i think it's starting to catch up to me. i realize i completely lost my childhood. it's gone. there's no going back in time to get it back.

i'm in the training room, sitting on the floor because my body cannot possibly take anything more. i remember my mom saying, "careful, you're leaving us. i won't be there to keep you safe anymore." i wish she was here right now. i need that mom hug. i just need a hug. tears are rolling down my face, and i wish i could just shut up and suck it up. 

i hear a knock on the door and wipe my tears. the door opens and ryujin steps in. i hope my eyes aren't giving away too much. i'm still sitting on the floor when she comes and sits next to me. 

"what are you practicing for?" she asks, voice softer than normal. i stare at her for a bit, soaking in all of her features. she has her hair in a low ponytail with some strands pulled out of the front. she's wearing a tank top and sweats.

"our comeback. the choreo is really complicated and i can't get it down." i reply, putting my arm around her. 

"why don't you do it one more time so i can see?" i nod to that and turn on the music. i mess up during the prechorus and during the chorus, but the rest goes smoothly. 

"ah i see what you did! okay okay hold on, i'll show you. it went like this, right? na-bi? you there?" she turns around and i'm trying my best to not cry. the tears are threatening to spill out, but i hold it in. 

"na-bi? why are you crying, did i say something wrong? hey, what's wrong? come here, love." she scurries to pause the music then scrambles over to me. she engulfs me in a hug and i hug her back.

"i'm sorry, ryu. i shouldn't be crying right now. i'm just wasting your time." she shushes me and keeps hugging me. she rubs my back and plays with my hair, waiting for me to stop crying. i calm down and she starts talking to me.

"what's wrong? is the choreo too hard?"

"no, well, that's part of it. i was just thinking about how much we overwork ourselves. the younger trainees, i'm especially worried for."

"seriously. the company overworks everyone. they use us for money." 

we hear the door open and a staff comes in. she immediately bows to us and comes over to me. "excuse me, mr. jyp wants you in his office. he said you can bring someone if you wanted to."

"oh okay, thank you!" i bow before she turns around and leaves.

"what great timing." i say sarcastically. "you wanna come with?" i ask ryujin. she nods and follows me to jyp's office. i wonder, what could be so bad that he suggests i bring someone else with me.

when we get to his office, he's standing outside. ryujin and i bow, and he stands infront of the door. 

"before you go in there, just know that he wouldn't leave until he saw you. he wants to talk with you. there's two security in there, and ryujin can go with you if you would like." he has this sympathetic or apologetic look on his face, and he steps away from the door.

i take a deep breath and i open it, motioning for ryujin to follow me. i take a look around and see a man in a chair. he stands up as soon as he hears the door open. he fixes his shirt and turns around.

what. the. fuck.

"na-bi."

"dad?"

CLIFFHANGER AHAHAHAHAH 

 anyways sorry for not updating in a fat bit. i'm trying to keep all a's in school and i had a bunch of exams to study for. anyways, next chapter will be consume part 2 unless i change my plans! ryujin is so stunning, right? i have over 50 pictures of her saved on my phone, is that bad?? anyways how are you all doing? i hope you guys r eating, sleeping, etc healthily <3 ttyl, thank you for reading! don't forget to vote and comment!!

- cait