It was like a rope that keeps on choking me
A snake on my body
A bug that kept my skin busy
A clog, in the vein of my memory
It felt butterflies at first
Or maybe I mistaken it to a butterfly
When my whole system is sending me a warning,
I thought it was that mesmerising feeling
Of falling... into something good
Yet I was wrong
So I fall, and break
And I tried so hard to pick my pieces while in the dark
I reached for the surface yet I drown once more
And I'd pick some parts and go
Until I realize, I dig the same hole again
I came back to you
And like an evil psychopath,
You always welcome me
With all the feeling of pleasure
But then... I'd wake up
Drenched with my own dirty past
I'd cry an ounce and beg for help
Until the voices in my head
Came echoing 'til I'm busted
"Forgive me, once more."
"Please forgive me once again."
I said it many times that shame is shamed at me now
I wanted to escape yet I continuously fail
Like a snowball, I break when I hit the ground
But I would fall again when I get the chance
I just wanted to disappear sometimes
And hide myself from sight
Yet again, I bravely face myself
With all the shame and doubt
"Let's try once more, we'll get it this time."
Though it sounds like a lie
I made it my mantra
Let me have a break once more
So He could make me whole.
