You know those times
When you want to burst into thin air
Like a bubble floating towards the sun
Just to feel how it's like to pop
I let go a part of me today
Without them knowing why
I just burst and then kept my distance
It is the only way I know I can
To protect them from the fragments of my broken soul
Because right now, I just really want to explode
I must have took a lot this past few days
I thought I handled them well
But perhaps, I only keep them aside
And now, they reminded me of their existence
But you know what, I still don't want to confront
I still wanna rest after that long gruelling week of nothing but anxiety
I just want a day of not thinking anything
Of not exerting a single effort
And I just wanted someone to tell me it's okay
But then again
Reality hit me with its slap
I could never be like that
I am someone that someone relies on
I cannot be selfish even only for a day
If only our body is as strong as our mind
Perhaps I would not need to burst
But it all happened
And I left without a word
Even though I know very well
This feelings need to be worded out
That is perhaps why
I am so drawn into writing
Because even though I could not verbally say what I want
I can just scribe them here
And if one day,
they'll get to read this
They'd know, and hopefully they'd understand
I never meant to make them feel awful
I just want them to know I could also feel awful
And I'd like them to realize that it's okay
That I am also deserving of the emotions that are not aligned with the positives
