Look of Love

Chapter 25

Tahimik kami, magkatabing naglalakad. I was looking down, watching my feet on the grass. Mahangin, sumasabay ang galaw ng buhok kong malayang nakakalat sa aking likod. When I turned to him, I found him staring at me intently. I smiled and swiftly look away. Nauna akong maglakad habang dinadama ang mga bulaklak sa kamay ko. He's behind me, watching my every movement.

I hummed my favorite tune. Huminto ang tunog ng kaniyang paghakbang. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, wala pa man din siyang sinasabi. Hindi ko siya nilingon at diretso pa ring naglakad, dahan dahan... at maingat.

"Shariah."

"Yeah?"

Hindi siya sumagot. Inipit ko ang buhok sa tainga at kinagat ang labi.

"Shariah?" he trailed with gentlest voice he could ever make.

Bumagal ang paghakbang ko.

Why do I feel like he's testing me if I'm gonna answer his call?

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you looking back?"

Huminga ako ng malalim at lumingon sa kaniya. Napasinghap ako sa gulat dahil nasa likod ko na pala siya.

"Are you okay?"

"Oo naman..."

His expression became grimmed. As if he's so annoyed with my answer.

"Baby, stop lying."

Pain strucked on me like a cold breeze passing by. Napakurap ako at hinawakan ang aking buhok. My eyes began to wander around again... just to avoid his gaze.

"Sorry. I'm just... a bit tired."

His gaze soften. Akala ko magsasalita siya base sa pag-awang ng kaniyang labi, pero hindi niya iyon tinuloy.

"To be honest... I'm exhausted."

I guess he doesn't know what to say. Nagbaba ako ng tingin.

"Of what?"

I shifted my weight uncomfortably. Hindi ko iyon sinagot.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm being cruel to you."

"It's okay. I'm sure you have your reasons."

It's not okay.

He carefully reached my hand. His fingertips were hesitating, and I saw him draw a sharp deep breath when I held him first. Hinawakan ko agad ang kamay niya pabalik. I want to feel the warmth of his palm. I want to comfort myself... through his touch.

I suddenly remember what he said to me before.

Not that I will stop liking you if you're not kind anymore. If that happens... then I'm sure you have your reason.

Nangilid agad ang luha ko... dahil lang sa naalala. Ngayon pa lang, iniintindi na niya ako kahit wala pa man din akong paliwanag?

"Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what's bothering you. Tell me..." he whispered. "Baby..."

Primo, I have so much words in my head but for some reason, I couldn't find the right one.

Everything's bothering me.

How come... you didn't mention any cold treatments of mine? How come he's not complaining with any of it? How come he's so patient with me?

I stared at the most beautiful pair of eyes I have ever seen. It's always warm. Wala akong maalalang tinitigan niya ako ng malamig.

"Wow. I really do love you, Primo."

His pupils dilated. It feels so foreign on my tongue. Bilang pa lang yata sa daliri kung ilang beses ko sinabi na mahal ko siya. That made me more broken. Sana pala, mas maraming beses ko pa iyon sinabi sa kaniya.