Look of Love

Prologue

Huminga ako ng malalim at wala sa sariling pinaglaruan ang buhok ko. I look at my wrist watch. Limang minuto para matapos ang klase ko. Tamad kong pinagmasdan ang professor ko sa harap.

Uwing uwi na ako, inaantok ako. Damn, I wish time can go faster.

"All right. We'll stop here. Let's discuss the next topic tomorrow. Class dismissed."

Halos sabay sabay kaming nagdiwang ng mga blockmates ko. I sighed and fixed my things quickly. Diri-diretso akong lumabas at hindi na lumingon pa sa kahit sino.

The four o'clock sun was about to set. The students were busy chattering around with their friends, giggling and smiling, as they made their way outside of the Central Irorri University. May iilan rin akong nakikitang mga lalaking nasa tapat ng gate, animo'y hinihintay ang kani-kanilang mga nobya. Napanguso ako sa hindi malamang dahilan.

Nilagpasan ko sila at dumiretso sa parking lot. Marahan kong niluwagan ang neck tie sa aking leeg at pinatunog ang sasakyan ko.

Nakakapagod mag aral minsan.

When I got home, I forced myself to review for my upcoming quizzes even though I feel lazy as hell. Lumipas nang ganoon ang buong linggo ko. Ngumuso ako habang tinitignan ang mga nakuha kong score. Thirty nine over sixty. Twenty six over thirty. Thirty four over sixty.

Ayos na 'yan, pwede na 'to, bulong ko sa sarili. Deserve kong magpahinga ulit.

Hours passed by. Puro discussion na hindi ko naman naiintindihan. Sometimes I would just zone out on my seat. Hindi ako mabilis matuto sa lahat ng bagay, kasi gusto ko, mabagal at marahan. I feel like school isn't effective for me sometimes. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang 'yun. I sighed and started to draw some random linings of faces on my notebook.

Paglabas ko ng room, kitang kita na ang papalubog na araw. Saka ko lang naalala na hindi ko dala ang sasakyan ko dahil sa katamaran na umiral sa'kin kanina. I look at my wristwatch. If I remember my brother's schedule correctly, he still have class right now. Isang oras pa siguro bago matapos. Nag-isip ako saglit at nagtipa ako sa phone ko ng mensahe habang mabagal na naglalakad.

Ako:

Pasabay pauwi, pwede?

Max:

Okay.

Niluwagan ko ang neck tie ko at lumiko muna sa cafeteria. Naghanap ako ng coke na nasa can at tsitsirya. I put my earphones on and sit quietly on the bench. Tahimik kong pinanood ang mga estudyanteng dumadaan.

Some of them was just about to go home. A big group of squad split ways, and the other group went to the main gate. Siguro ang iba ay sa ibang gate ang daan. They bid their farewells. They waved their hand on the air, and the big grins was seen on their faces. I sipped on my drink.

I don't really have a circle, I only have my close friends around me... so I wonder...

How do people find the right circle of friends these days?

Do they just come into your life? Or would you just appear into theirs?

Paano ba nabubuo ang isang grupong magkakaibigan?

Something, or someone, blocked my line of vision, making me snapped out on my own thoughts. Nakatulala na pala ako dito. I looked up and I realized that's it's my brother in front of me. Oh, is he dismissed already?

Bumuka ang kaniyang bibig ngunit wala akong narinig. Nagtaka pa ako noong una pero naalala kong may nakapasak nga pala sa tainga ko. Kumunot ang noo ko at ginalaw ang kamay upang tanggalin iyon. His jaw dropped.