—jackie
its been 4 months since i've seen him. it shouldn't be such a big deal.
but why did everything remind me of him? he was all i could ever think and worry about.
the smell of smoke and aftershave lingered around every time i thought of him.
i was chasing his shadow in every man i saw that reminded me of him.
i only knew him a few days.. but he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
of course awsten was there. he encouraged me to look for him on social media, and when we tried, we discovered that the kiszkas weren't the social media type.
awsten tried to make me feel better. we spent our nights inside, eating takeout and watching shitty scary movies. he was the only constant star in my life.
we sat on the couch as he scrolled through twitter while i painted my nails. this was the company i admired most. silent, but comfortable company.
it was silent.. up until he sat up straight, staring at something on his phone. "oh my god.." he mumbled. he quickly turned off his phone.
"what? what the hell was that?" i said turning to him. "give me your phone. delete twitter now." he said grabbing my phone off the table.
"no! what? why?" i said trying to take it back from him. "just please trust me." he said pushing me off of him.
i snagged my phone and opened the app.
"oh my god.." i mumbled at the photo.
"ROCK STAR, SAM KISZKA'S NEW GIRLFRIEND"
some shitty pop culture article had posted pictures of sam with a girl.
i turned off my phone and looked at awsten.
"its not a big deal." i mumbled at him. he nodded and held me. "he isnt a big deal" he said rubbing my back.
four months. it took four months.
of course i didnt even know him for one month. but it felt like so much more with sam.
he looked different in the photo too.
older.
same baby face, same gorgeous eyes. but oh so older.
he looked famous.
