—jackie
tour was fantastic. traveling every day was such a dream.
being around the guys was fun too. they truly were my best friends at this point.
sam and i have been close, but keeping distance just in case.
we never did set any ground rules but we had our mental mutual understandings.
"when will you be home?" said the glowing face on my phone screen.
"not for another month, aws." i said sighing. i did miss him, he was my very best friend.
jake peered at me from the door, not wanting to interrupt.
"you can come in jake." i said motioning to him. "awsten i have to go, plus its late for you, get some sleep." i said
"yeah, right. talk to you in the morning." he said before hanging up.
i put my phone down and rubbed my eyes.
"hes in love with you, you know that right?" jake said plopping on the couch beside me.
i nodded with my hand over my eyes.
he grabbed my arm and stood up. "c'mon. lets get off the bus for a while." he said pulling me off the couch i had called my home for 3 weeks now.
i laughed and he pulled me off the bus. all the guys stood by the door and my heart jumped.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all yelled, balloons popping and confetti flying.
i laughed as they all took turns hugging me.
"how'd you know?" i said through laughter.
"your dad, duh." sam said picking me up and spinning me in a circle.
i hugged him tight.
"how could we not celebrate you!" josh said with open arms. i hugged him as tight as possible.
as i let him go, i noticed the crew had set up tables of food, drinks, and a beautiful birthday cake.
i couldnt wipe the smile off my face if i tried.
—sammy
i loved to watch her smile. seeing her happy made me feel right, like that was what i was meant to do.
we all sat around in lawn chairs, jake with his acoustic, singing and dancing around in the parking lot.
we had a show tomorrow, but stayed outside all day long celebration our girl.
my girl.
all i wanted to do was tell her how bad i wanted her to be mine.
so i knew i should do it tonight.
as the sun went down and we all started to get tired
josh, however, was drunk and rambling on about something to jackie.
i needed to get her alone.
i finally was able to make eye contact with her, i motioned for her to come over to me.
she started to stand up.
"wait where are you going im not done doll.." josh slurred while grabbing for her hand.
"josh as much as i love you, you need to rest up." she said grabbing his hand back and kissing his cheek.
his cheeks were red and he turned to me.
"see sam? she loves me!" he giggled. "watch this!" he said laughing.
"i love you jackie. i love you more than the moon and all the stars that collectively make up our universe!" he shouted.
i tensed up.
"see sam, how hard is that? you're working yourself up man! all you had to do was.." he said while walking towards me. but he was abruptly stopped by me dragging him by his shirt around the back of the bus.
"what the fuck is wrong with you? you really have the nerve.." i said letting go.
"sam." i heard her say.
i couldnt turn around. i was too embarrassed. too ashamed. there is no way i could tell her now. it was such a perfect time, but now it's absolutely ruined.
i felt her hand on my shoulder.
"sam its okay.."" she said softly.
i could feel my eyes fill up with tears.
i turned to her.
she smiled at me with that damn smile. how could i resist?
i cupped her cheeks ever so softly. she looked into my eyes.
"i love you too sam." she whispered.
