Genesis: the Beginning and the End | Band of Brothers

【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ １９ － Ｍｕｆｆｉｎ】

Chapter 19 - Muffin

Being other people. She could do that because she'd been trained to. Genesis didn't like doing it but could.

And Coco had been so good, and so nice and so wonderful. There were downsides with Coco though, ones she was not willing to unpack, ever. They were tightly sealed.

Claudia was so nice too. And her little blue and white flowers that brought her joy.

"Fuck! Why is this so hard?! Why is it so hard to breathe?!"

She felt like she was choking and that someone had just stomped on her chest.

Margaret had moved from where she fell to curl up on her side in the middle of the track she'd ended up on.

It hurt.

She alternated from clutching at her chest as she gasped for air and sobbed, to pulling at her hair and back again. Her hair seemed to send her into more of a panic.

But why? She still had it this time. Yes it had taken years to grow back to a length that at least looked normal. But it was there. It was hers. It grew from her scarred scalp rather than laying in tattered clumps around her.

If only Dad could draw her into his arms, and kiss her head.

What's wrong, muffin?

Daddy I'm scared! There's a monster under my bedin my head!

Or Ripley. Ripley who cared for her in their father's absence. Ripley who ran away at 17, leaving his 14 year old sister with a mother who didn't seem to love anything all because Mother found out. Did he run because he was scared of what his little sister might think too? But she loved him. It didn't matter to her who he loved. If he was happy then that was good enough for her because he deserved happiness, pure and unadulterated joy.

Hey Rip? Where're you offta? Rip?

Peg I'm sorry but I gotta run, I'm not normal and Mother knows, I can't stay.

But you...no Rip. Please.

He'd kissed her head like Dad and disappeared into the night, tears in his eyes mirroring hers.

Mother asked where he was. But Peggy didn't know.

She still didn't but she wanted to. She wanted to know, she wanted to hug him.

What Margaret needed now was to be cuddled. A big hug that never ended, from someone who wouldn't mind her crying all over their clothes as she cuddled into them and clutched at their clothes so they couldn't leave her again. For them to rub her back and ask what was wrong, tell her everything was ok, and that they weren't going anywhere.

She wasn't sure if she was crying anymore, just coughing to the point where she was worried her guts might come out.

It was so hard to breathe.

Maybe a different position.

So she star-fished. Looking up at the purple sky.

In her stress, and anxiety and all of that, she didn't notice the stones and rocks that dug into her back and spine and skull.

It was so calm and quiet that Margaret felt guilty for disturbing it.

Lying in the middle of a farm track wasn't clever.

Lying in the middle of the farm track that led to the barn being used as barracks was just plain stupid.

Especially when actually she wasn't that far away.

But even though there were noises now disturbing her peace, she couldn't bring herself to move or to stop sobbing or crying. How she had any tears left she didn't know. And her linen blouse was sure to not be in a good state. They weren't meant to be worn for rolling around in the country.

Margaret curled back up again, back on her side in some feeble attempt to make herself small and feel safe as she hugged her knees to her chest and cried. She cried and cried until the world fell away and there was no noise, no feeling, just longing.

A longing for so much, for what she had lost, for what she had never had.

_

HI, I AM BACK, NOT DEAD!

Sorry for the extended break...

I became obsessed with SAS: Rogue Heroes...IT IS AMAZING!!!! I cannot wait for season 2!

I wrote a fic/am writing a fic, it's on AO3 and it's called All I Want. Currently there are 45 chapters, but there will be 75 chapters, I update every day x