Genesis: the Beginning and the End | Band of Brothers

【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ６５ － Ｅｘｐｅｒｉｍｅｎｔ】

Chapter 65 - Experiment

She was dreaming. This had to be some sick nightmare.

It felt like her heart had been wrenched from her very chest, Michaёl held it, squeezing it.

But it was real.

All too real.

She hadn't heard that voice in nearly nine years.

This was all wrong.

"Mother?!"

Screw the fucking protocol. Genesis didn't care, and neither did Margaret. She was angry and hurt, but those were massive under statements. She was distraught, heart-broken, furious but even those didn't seem to quite cover it. It was all so much.

Margaret could hear her talking but she couldn't hear what she was saying, the rushing in her ears too loud.

"What the fuck?! What the fuck is wrong with you? This has got to be a sick joke, it has to be bullshit."

"Genesis I suggest you watch your language."

That made her want to punch the glass. What right had she to start parenting her?

"Oh no, you don't get to start parenting me now. You weren't there when I needed you! You've no right."

There was a sigh, and then some muffled talking. It just made her angrier. How was she not the most important thing? They'd contacted, asking for her.

"So now you're not even gonna fucking talk to me?! I don't know what I was expecting to happen if we ever got the chance to talk but ignoring me was not it!"

She clenched and unclenched her fist, over and over, digging her nails into her palm.

She would not cry.

She would not cry.

She would not cry.

Not now.

"I'm not ignoring you, more important things are going on."

"More- More important?! Right. Yes. I'm dreadfully sorry, my life falling apart must be very inconvenient for you."

Her chest was heaving and her nails digging deeper and deeper and she hissed as she broke the skin but the pain was helping her keep somewhat cool. Her head wouldn't stop and breathing just wasn't happening. She couldn't hear outside anymore. And it felt like the phone box was collapsing in on her.

"I was shot in Holland. But I'm fine, thanks for asking. Ripley is doing really well for himself too, after ten years apart I got very drunk on my birthday and we danced," she spat the last bit because Mother had always hated them dancing. "But you don't care, do you? Because that's just like you, incapable of caring about anyone other than yourself – couldn't even manage to care about your fucking kids."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! I am your-"

She cut her off with a laugh. A mean, condescending laugh that she didn't even know she was capable of laughing. But it was there. And she laughed at her mother.

"My mother? Bullshit! Mothers don't do this kind of fucked up shit! Mothers don't train their child to be a spy, don't neglect their children. They don't abandon their 15 year old daughter, leaving her in a cold, old house alone! They don't turn their daughters into spies, stripping their humanity back until there's nothing! They don't treat me like an experiment! Because that's all I am, a fucking experiment, not your own flesh and blood. That's why my name is Genesis isn't it?" She had to pause, turning her head away to take a deep breath but so that they couldn't hear. She couldn't have them hearing how much this affected her. It was the way they built her. There was no answer to her question. That was fine. It was fine. It was rhetorical anyway. It was fine. "Because I'm the beginning, the creation, the start, the first? Because if I'm a success, there'll be a whole fucking testament after me?!" It was all quiet on the other end. Were they listening? "Well let me tell you that I'm a failure. Your little experiment failed. I'm fucking broken. I can't fucking function as a human being because I missed out on so much that was vital to my development as a child. I can't do anything, all I know how to do is what I was taught, what I was told! What sort of life is that? IS THIS WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED FOR ME?! For your daughter? To feel like I'm falling apart at any given moment? To wish that maybe the next shell or mortar or bullet might hit me so I don't have to keep existing like this anymore? Because this isn't living. It's hardly even surviving. I can hardly sleep and I hate myself for what I've done, had to do, had to say, had to give up!"