𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹𝘀 & 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.

𝟬𝟮𝟳:

𝗖𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗱𝘆'𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃.

I arranged the last of the flowers and tied them off with a purple bow. Today I was going to see my baby. Visiting the grave of my daughter was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Normally me and Dave would take some time on a Friday morning to go. But Bella was sick and we didn't want to leave her with anyone. So I was going for the both of us.

I was at the market first thing this morning to get some purple flowers. The onesie we dressed her in was purple so now when I see the colour purple, all I can think of is her. Today was also an anniversary since Chelsea died, so I'd been keeping an eye on Cameron.

"Ma where you going?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Lay some flowers for Nova." He walked over and rested his head on my shoulder. He may be eighteen about to be nineteen but he is the biggest baby.

"You okay?" I asked rubbing his cheek.

"Mhm." he hummed with a quick nod.

"You wanna go lay some flowers for your mom?"

"She not my mom." he mumbled quickly.

"Okay fine. You still wanna come with me?"

He nodded his head "Okay, go and get ready."

He went upstairs as Dave came downstairs, handing me my purse that I forgot. He leaned down to give me a kiss before speaking again.

"You sure you okay to go by ya self?" he asked for the tenth time.

"Cams coming with me." I informed, he liked just as surprised as I did when Cameron said yes.

"For real?"

"Mhm. Take care of my babies and message me if you need me."

"Anyone would think you don't trust me." he clutched his chest, pretending to be hurt.

"I do, you just not me." I said making him chuckle.

•

We got out of the car and made our way over to Nova's grave. We had a tree planted right beside the headstones which had an Angel on top of it. I laid down the flowers after I got rid of the old ones. The last time I was here I cleaned her headstone so it was in perfect condition.

"You sure you don't wanna go over there?" Chelsea was buried not too far from where we were. But Cameron shook his head. I sat down on the bench that was pretty close by and Cameron did the same.

"You miss her?" I asked him, Cameron bottled things up and had done since he was a little boy.

"No.....I'm mad at her." he admitted.

"You can't be mad forever Cam. It's affecting you more than you think." He went quiet and stared into space.

"Tell me why you're mad." I said, Dave isn't really one to talk either. So I was hoping if it was just myself and Cameron then he might open up.

"Everyone wanted to help her. But she wouldn't help herself. A part of me thought she would for me. And I feel stupid as hell. She ain't care about no one but her self." he shook his head defeatedly.

"Addiction is a disease Cam. She loved you and that's all that mattered." I assured but he clearly didn't care.

"No she didn't, don't say that. If she loved me she woulda stopped or accepted help." he said shaking his head.

I noticed the tears rolling down his face. He cries when he's frustrated, I wiped his tears away.

"How you get over something like this?" he mumbled to me.