D&S

Chapter # 9

Ester, I had no idea my one mistake would ruin our future.

***

A few months after it, Henry came to me looking infuriated. I looked at him as he grabbed my collar and punched me in the face.

"What the hell did you tell her?!" He yelled and was about to punch me again but I stopped it and pushed him away.

"What the hell man?!" I shouted at him.

"What have you done to her!? She has turned suicidal because of you!" Henry yelled. "Who?"

"My sister! Grace!"

"What can I do about it? She cannot force me to love her and I cannot pretend that I love her when I don't!" I shouted back.

"At least try God Damn it! She will die without you!" He shouted as tears began to stream down his face.

"How Henry when I don't? She cannot do this by throwing some tantrums." I reason, wiping the blood present on the corner of my lips with my sleeves.

"Desmond..." Grace's voice came as she looked at me with her teary eyes, heartbroken to hear my words.

"Grace.. I.." I trailed off. "I.. Didn't mean to hurt you.. I-" She cut me off by putting her hand in the air and smiling sadly, "I-It's okay... Of course.. I-I Cant f-force you.." She whispered, moving back.

"Grace, listen." I said but she ran away. Me and Henry both ran after her but she just ran away.

"What have you done Desmond?!" Henry cried.

"What?! I didn't mean to." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Later that night I received a text from Grace,

I cannot take it anymore. But, before I go let me tell you, Desmond.

I love you.

My eyes widened when I saw it. I quickly called Henry and asked him to check up on her only to hear that she had locked herself in her room. I don't know what took over me as I rushed to her place. I saw Henry still outside her door, banging and pleading for her to open it. My heart skipped a beat in dread. I gulped and went to him. We both broke the door open but it was too late because she killed herself just because I neglected her love. She took her life. and I stood there stunned, left with no ability to think or feel, wallowing in immense misery and pain. All alone in darkness and swearing to never love anyone; never wanting to have the same fate as her and make the person who was left behind miserable and anguished.

***

Just because of that nightmare, I pushed you away Ester, I did all this to you. Just because I don't want to love you but in the end I did. She died because of me and I didn't want any of us to have the same fate.

I held Ester close to a tear rolled down my cheek. Back then when she asked for a divorce, I felt what Grace would have felt.

I could still remember when I confessed my love for her for the first time but it was too late as I made an irredeemable mistake and nothing could make it right. She was scared of me, of my anger, of my love, of my very existence. And back then I felt what Grace did when I left her alone.

How Ester told me to get out and left me as I stood there where she left me hollow while taking my heart with her and I couldn't help but to be repentant and beg for her to spare me a last chance to let me make things right. I don't want it to happen ever again but how Ester will react to knowing that someone took her life because of me and that's why I didn't want to marry her and kept being rude to her but couldn't be able to, she won't leave in fear of becoming the second Grace... didn't she?

I swore that I will not love anyone and play with someone's emotions but how I become like this is beyond my comprehension.

I heaved and nuzzled close to Ester,

"I love you, Ester... Don't leave me." I pecked her cheeks and spent my night in her arms receiving utmost serenity from it, never wanting to let her go and be in that ravage again. I never want to let go of my sweet elation, my paradise ever again.

The next day, I was in my office leaning back on my seat, thinking about Ester. A smile crept upon my lips when I thought about her, maybe I should give her something to make up for that anger. I smiled widely and shook my head. I took out my diary and took out my pen, twirling it around my fingers, thinking what should I write about her. I brought this after our honeymoon and began to write about random things in it, which may be totally irrelevant to us but still they are meant for her. I closed my eyes and think of myself and that's the moment I understood what I should write,

"Ester, You have left me at that point of my life where if I won I would be yours and even if I lose; I would still be yours.."

I wrote what my heart told me to, what held the reality in it. She has made me like this. My mind freshened up that very instant as I quickly got up from my seat.

I returned home in the evening, Ester not being a fan going on dinners so I entered and searched for her,

"There you are!" I said excitedly. She turned to me.

"Welcome home." She smiled and stood up. "How was your day?" She asked, looking beautiful as always. I walked from her and made her sit. I bent and held her hands and looked at her with eternal devotion and love I have in my heart for her. I grinned,

"You okay?" She asked hesitantly.

"I talked badly to you yesterday. I am sorry." I said sincerely, slipping the flower bracelet I bought for her in her hand. I kissed her hands and looked at her. She was taken aback by my actions. I know I have never made up for my mistakes properly, the way I should and I want to rectify all of my mistakes. I kept on smiling while holding her hands looking at her with a vast amount of dedication and yearning.

She chuckled nervously and pulled her hand back slowly,

"Desmond.. You don't have to worry about it.. It was nothing."

"No it was. I shouldn't have done that." I said putting my hands over her laps.

"Desmond, a lot happened that little things don't even mean anything after it."

"They should. Next time if my words make you sad I will give you my full permission to slap me."

"Desmond. It's okay. Please stop." she said cupping my cheek with her one hand.

"I love you so much Ester. No matter how much I try to make you happy, I end up hurting you and making you scared." I said in a croaked voice. She pulled me in her embrace and kissed my forehead,

"It's okay. I trust you." I immediately welcomed her warmth and snuggled close to her.

"I am nothing without you." I whispered.

"It's beautiful." She said, showing me the bracelet. I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Because it's in your hands. " I complimented. She blushed and looked away slyly. I chuckled and remained like this with her, never letting her go, receiving utmost serenity in her arms.