D&S

Chapter # 10

I woke up and rubbed my eyes, a sudden pain shot through my hands. My eyes felt heavy. My throat was dry. My hands are still red and swollen. It hurts a lot. I sat up. I realized that I am in bed. I remember sleeping on the floor. I cried so much last night, enough to dry my eyes out. I looked at the nightstand to pour me some water. I saw a gel. I picked it up. It is a gel to relieve pain. I smiled at the thought, who is in this house is that kind? I am sure Desmond can never do such a thing. It must be someone else.

He shouldn't have done it. He can mock me and do whatever he wants but with his words not with his actions. I won't forgive him for this.

The door knocked as I asked,

"Who's there?"

"M-Ma'am, It's time for B-Breakfast." I heard a trembling voice. I recognize this voice belongs to Savannah.

"Come in, Savannah!"I called. The door opened revealing Savannah. She was looking down. Remorse is written all over her face. It's clear that she felt bad about it. But I have already learned that I shouldn't trust anyone from Emily and she is my second lesson. Besides, what's good gonna happen if I stay angry at her?

"Good Morning Savannah!" I smiled at her.

"G-Good M-Morning " She looked scared.

"Look at me," I said as she hesitantly looked up. Her eyes teared up, she quickly looked down,

"I am sorry, Ma'am. I didn't want to." She cried.

"It's alright. I don't blame you. All of us are bound to follow Desmond's rules" I smiled reassuringly at her. She smiled faintly.

"Anyways, thank you for that." I thanked her for the gel.

"I didn't bring that," Savannah said. My eyes widened for a second. I looked at the gel again. The only one who can bring it is ... NO! Desmond can't do anything like this. He has become an animal. He can't do this. He doesn't even care. I got ready and left for breakfast.

I saw Desmond there, with his usual cold look.

"Good Morning" I coldly said and took a seat. He stares at me for a second and then at the table.

"Good Morning." He replied monotonously; too much to my shock. For the first time, he actually replied to me. I raised my eyebrow at him and scoffed. The food was served. I gripped the fork, but the pain in my hands didn't fade away, So it hurt and the fork fell on the ground. I winced in pain and began to blow my hand. Desmond stopped eating and looked at me. His expression looked puzzled, almost like he wanted to say something, but couldn't. I looked at him. A hint of concern is clearly shown in his eyes.

"What's with that look? Didn't it feel pleasurable to you that I am in pain" I rudely spat at him as he looked down.

"I don't care." He said slowly.

"I know and you never will. You know why?" I stood up and gave him an exasperated look aroused by his seething.

"Because you can never love anyone!" I yelled at him. "You don't have to tell me." He uttered, looking away.

"I thought you were all talk but no, you have shown you are an animal." I ridiculed him. "Look at me. Take a look at my hands, Desmond." I said, showing my palm which was red and swollen. He didn't lift his gaze to look at it.
I leaned in close to his face, giving him a look filled with extensive anger. "You did it." I hissed. He curled his hands, not even daring to look at me. "Does it feel good?" I asked mockingly, moving away. He stood up and was about to leave, "You did it." I repeated myself. "You." I scowled and he left.

After I was sure that he left, I decided to go and watch a movie. It's been a while since I have left home. I want to go home as well, but Mother and Father went to another country for some business matters. It's alright it can happen later. I smiled as I took a seat and began to watch the movie. After the movie, I decided to have lunch outside. An outdoor time alone never hurts. I looked at my hands and smiled sadly.

"After giving scars to my heart, why do you ask about the well being of my injured heart? "

I went home. After dinner, I was in the library reading some random stuff to pass time. I got lost in the book that I lost track of time. I looked at the time 12:30 am. It's late, I should be sleeping. I walked out of the room. I was about to leave but I heard music- the sound of a flute to be precise. I walked closer to listen clearly. This sound was familiar. I creaked the door open and peeked inside only to see Desmond playing the flute. I recognized that sound; A thousand Years.

This song is my favorite. I always listen to that song thinking how I'm gonna meet the love of my life and when I do I can't say it's something I have expected. Whenever I listen to this song it always makes me feel strange. But now, I feel heartbroken. I leaned on the wall and wrapped my arms around my waist. The melody invoked a feeling of heartbreak in my heart. I closed my eyes and comprehended the sound of the flute.

One step closer,

I have died every day waiting for you.

Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you.

For a thousand years...

I'll love you for a thousand more...

I sat on the ground and leaned my back on the wall. I closed my eyes. The harmony of the song fills me.

What kind of situation am I stuck in? I am loving someone who can't even love me back... but why?

I am trying so hard to win his love. How I am dying for my husband to look at me with affection and listen to the melodious sound of the flute played by my husband... hoping the lyrics might be directed to me.

I closed my eyes and remembered the day we met, how he smiled at me. How he kissed my hands. How he picked me up and took me home on our honeymoon. How he said those comfy things sometimes. I smiled at the memories that give me hope for the beautiful tomorrow that one day, He'll look at me with affection. I began to think about scenarios that will never gonna happen. I lost in my misconceptions again, forgetting about the harsh reality that we are meant for each other. Before I knew it, I fell asleep while listening to music.

My eyes flutter open, I look around and find myself in my room. I tried to shift but couldn't. I felt someone's grip on me. I was about to freak out but I turned around and saw Desmond. My whole face turns crimson. Desmond's one hand is on my waist pulling me close to him. While his other hand is under his cheek. He was sound asleep. I stare at his sleeping form for a while. I smiled to myself. I hesitantly put my hands over his. His hand is warm. I grinned like an idiot. His hands are so rough. I felt so warm in his embrace. I don't know why but I felt safe in his arms. Unlike his presence, when he is awake, that always fills me with terror. Not wanting to lose his warmth, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

****

It's been months since our marriage and it looks like I am not getting anywhere. Desmond's behavior is the same as always cold, rude and filled with mock. It seriously broke my heart. He opens his mouth only to ridicule me. Who knows how long I can hold this loveless marriage? I tried my best but it always ends up angering him, one way or another. I smiled at him, he scoffed. I tried to make some conversation but he scolds me in the end. I cried and he glared at me to shut me up. But, I am not going to lose hope. I'll try my best as long as I can. I will do my best to be loved by him. At least, I also deserve to be loved...