D&S

Chapter # 13

Ester, You have become my string of hope I cling onto and never let go. I reside in the vast ocean of solace which has your memory in it forever.

***

My eyes slowly opened due to sunlight penetrating through the curtains and falling on my face, waking me up from my deep slumber. My head throbbed in pain, I cannot make out what's in the surrounding. My eyes were half lid. I blinked a few times, trying to comprehend my surroundings. I remember going to the bar to ease my frustration then I came home.. and kissed Ester, what happened after it was still hazy but I could remember she was scared of me. She was afraid. My eyes widened as I sat up. I looked around, I was in my room but Ester is not here.

"Shit.." I cursed under my breath and got out of the bed. I am an idiot who never fails to make things worse. She never likes me touching her suddenly and I terrified her again.

I sighed loudly and went to have a shower so that the pain in my head could lessen a bit and I shall make what I need to talk to Ester. After taking a shower, I walked out of the room. I just need to take a look at her to see if she is fine or not. I looked for Ester and saw her, sitting on the ground in the garden, looking aimlessly somewhere. I rushed to her and called her, "Ester..."

Upon hearing my voice she gasped and moved back. I bent on one knee and looked at her softly. She let out a deep breath and turned her head away, "You scared me Desmond.."

"I didn't mean to." I said. She laughed dryly and looked away, "Just like every time. It was all unintentional. Right?" She asked scornfully.

"Please don't talk like that, Ester." I said desperately. She remained silent and didn't reply.

"Ester... look at me." I said moving close to her. I was about to touch her but she yanked my hand away and said in a state of fear and anxiety, "Desmond. Please... just don't touch me without my will. Your.. touch scares me.." She said, putting her hands in front of me and crawling back. I bit my cheek feeling disheartened. I was at a loss for words, I don't know what I should say. She couldn't be able to look at me, still alarmed under my touch, frightened I evoked in her just by my presence. How can I not notice it before?

"I am sorry, Ester. I swear I won't do it again." I promise.

"You always break your promises..." She whispered. Again, I was left with the inability to speak. I lowered my head in shame, knowing she is right and I am the worst person but still she is staying with me. I swallowed hard and whispered, "Please forgive me." She looked at me for about a few seconds as her frightful gaze softened and she moved to me and put her hand over mine while giving me a faint smile.

"Desmond..." She called me. I looked at her. She held my hands in her and continued, "What happened?" Her voice was stern, my eyes widened for a second in astonishment as the memory of last night how I was blabbering about my distress to her. My heart skipped a beat but before she could notice my expressions I became skeptical.

"What?" I asked pretending as if I didn't know.

"Desmond, you said something is happening because of me.. what is it?" She asked gently, rubbing my hands.

"I don't remember.." I mumbled.

"No, there is something." She insisted.

"No, Ester. I must be talking about how you changed me. How you ignite the spark of your love in me." I smile, squeezing her hands and smiling at her widely. Her smile faltered and she said vaguely, "But.."

"I honestly don't remember what happened last night but I am sorry about it." I said sincerely.

"It's okay." She smiled again.

"So.." I trailed off. She raised an eyebrow at me and I continued, "Can I kiss your forehead?" I asked. I think I need permission to touch her every time, until she feels completely relaxed in my presence and the fear embedded in her obliterates completely. She bears everything for a whole year, forgetting it in a month or two might be difficult for her.

She giggled and answered, "Yes." I chuckled and kissed her forehead. I then stood up and offered her my hands. We then went to have breakfast. We were having breakfast in silence but I spoke up,

"Ester... I will drop you off at your parents' home and pick you up on my way back home, okay?" Her face lit up in happiness as she asked, "Really?" I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you!" She beamed. Her smiles always calm my heart, the way she smiles so radiantly, shines my world. I just want to stare at her all day, not caring for another thing in the world.

I then dropped her at her parent's place and went to work.

The day at work went fine, everything was fine, no drama; a monotonous day away from Henry.

I was coming back to get Ester but I thought about stopping on my way to the flower shop. I looked around to get some flowers for Ester. There were a bunch of beautiful bouquets but none of them caught my eyes.

"Looking for something?" The voice of an old lady came. I turned to her and replied, "Yeah.. Actually I am looking for flowers for my wife." She smiled and said. "What's her favorite?"

"Black Roses but I want to give her something else." I mumbled.

"Then how about these red roses?" She showed me a small bouquet of them. I shook my head no, "Something simple." I added. She nodded and showed me a bunch of white orchids which looked so elegant. A smile came to my lips when I saw it. "That's what I've been looking for, thank you." I smiled and bought them.

I then went to pick Ester. I entered and saw her Mother, "Ah Hello Mrs Willows, where's Ester?"

"Oh Hello, Desmond. Ester in the library with her Father."

"Can I meet her?" I asked politely. She chuckled, "Of course." We then entered and saw Ester talking with her father. She smiled when she looked at me.

"Hey!" She waved at me. I smiled and waved back. I greeted Mr Willows and we stayed there for a while and I said,

"Let's go, Ester."

"Come on, Desmond, at least stay for dinner." Mrs Willows insisted. "I would love to but I'm taking out Ester for dinner." When I said that Ester looked at me surprised, "When did that happen?" She asked. I chuckled and replied, "Just now."

"I am not even ready, Desmond." She reasoned.

"You look very pretty to me." I said, smirking at her. Mr Willows laughed, "Have fun." I nodded and she said goodbye to her parents and we left.

We sat in the car and I turned to her, "Ester.. here you go." I offered the flowers I forgot in the car. Her eyes glimmered in awe when she saw the flowers, "Its' beautiful Desmond." She breathed out.

"Just like you." I said. She grinned and pecked my cheek, "Thank you." I laughed a little. Serenity washed over me to see her like this. When she laughs or is happy, it gives me immense tranquility.

We then went to have dinner. As we were having dinner I called her, "Ester.." She hummed and I began to say, "There's a spring festival coming soon. You want to go?"

"I would love to." She said excitedly.

"I know.. I wanted to tell you something.."

"Yes, What is it?" She asked.

"You said you wanted to become a motivational speaker. I want you to pursue your dreams." She stopped eating and looked at me shocked and with a hint of amusement. I couldn't understand her look so I asked, "What?" She laughed a little and shook her head, "Thank for paying heed to my stupid aim but I have no interest in chasing that delusion." I looked at her perplexed and replied, "Maybe that delusion saves lives." I told her what she told me on our first date. She stopped and looked at me sternly and began to say,

"Desmond. I am a silly, delusional girl who is weak and pathetic, I don't think I can help anyone."