D&S

Chapter # 16

Ester, you have become the shore I seek all this time.

***

She said, cupping my cheeks with her one hand while giving my hand a gentle squeeze with her other hand. Her voice is so soothing and heartwarming. Her words gave me vast serenity as the destruction inside me came to a stop and I wanted to indulge in her and receive everlasting love from it.

A faint smile came to my lips when she said that. I tilt my head to my side a little and whisper, "Can I embrace you, Ester?" She smiled widely and nodded. I moved close to her and snuggled to her chest and remained like that.

"You don't have to make a mess of your study because of it." She said jokingly. You don't know the actual reason behind this. She thinks that I am dismayed because I don't like Ester talking to my ex but the reality is something else. She ran her hands in my hair as I called her, "Ester.."

She hummed and I continued, "Stay with me forever." She chuckled softly and kissed my head. Her presence gave my soul an immense lull, the screams of my heart calmed down the instant when I heard her call. The devastation of my life turned into something memorable and worth living by her presence, she came to my life like an angel.

She has loved me since the moment she saw me. She never asked her heart who I am, why she is not hating me. She just continued to love me unconditionally and now I want to return that love, I want to put a halt to her endless struggle.

"By the way, what caused you to be like this?" She asked, pulling away a little. I remember last time when I began to feel things for her and Henry tried to embed those absurd thoughts of hating her in my heart.

I did the same; I destroyed my studies in distress and also accidentally hit her with the vase. How sweetly said that she wants to have lunch with me that time. Only if I have returned that love hers before so none of that happened before.

"Nothing... leave it."

"Desmond.. You were crying?" She said worriedly, moving close to me again. She cupped my cheeks and stared deeply into my eyes. I tried to turn my head away but she didn't let me.

I gave her a pleading look to stop but she kept looking at me with that sorrowful gaze, "What happened? Why were you crying?" She asked.

"Nothing.." I said, averting my eyes from hers.

"No, tell me." She said firmly, determined to find the reason behind my cries.

"Sometimes the thought of losing you scares me." I whispered, telling her the painful truth that scares me to no extent as tears spill out on their own.

"I will never leave you then why do you repeat the same thing over and over again? Even being drunk you were saying this." She said, concerned.

"I don't know... it all feels like a dream and I am afraid to wake up from it." I said feebly, moving away.

"This. Will. Never. Happen." Ester enunciated. I looked at her in disbelief. Her eyes were reflecting that same devotion ever since the first day. That look of hers etched in my mind. By looking at her like this somehow dispelled some of my fears and I passed her a smile and nodded.

"I am so happy to have you in my life." I said earnestly. She smiled and moved close to me. She sat beside me and put her head over my shoulder and replied with a 'Me too' in her charming tone.

We remained like this. Emerging the adoration which is implanted deep into our souls as a source of eternal rapture.

***

I was working, my mind was fully focused on work. I don't want to think about anything else and ruin the rhythm I have created between my work as a peace of mind and those stupid delusions of mine that are terrorizing me just to think about seeing Ester's reaction if something happened.

There's a string of hope, making me believe Ester will understand and stand by my side but that thread is so weak and fragile, a single pull and it will be torn apart.

All of my emotions are kept at bay because of Ester's presence who is helping me to stay composed and not break; giving me the strength to shatter all those restraints.

But, she is also the reason for my breakdown. There's a thin line between these emotions of mine and I have to be very careful while crossing it so that things don't fall apart.

I sighed and looked around to find my file of my upcoming meeting but it was nowhere to be found. Seems like I have forgotten it at home.

I heaved loudly and called home, "Hello?" Ester's voice came. A smile crept upon my lips when I heard her voice.

"Hey."

"Oh, Desmond." Her voice became cheerful, making my smile grow wide.

"Ester, I need a favor." I said.

"Yes?"

"I was working on a file in our room, I forgot it here, can you bring it here?"

"Me? I.. I will send it by someone." She said nervously.

"Why not you?" I asked, curious.

"I.. will feel intimidated." She mumbled. I chuckled and replied, "When I am here with you, there's no need for you to be worried about anything." I said sincerely.

"Okay.. then I will get it." She said and cut the call.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on my chair. A smile came to my lips. I don't know when this beautiful symphony of love began to fill me and I got entangled in that forever. I never thought that I will find a source of salvation, a path to be away from those apparitions.

This is such a mesmerizing feeling. I want to be with Ester. I have given her my heart, my everything starts and ends with her. I love how I used to talk to her in her sleep, how every little gesture of her evoked such emotions in me. I was lost in the delusion that if she married me, she would destroy her life.

I have to hate her so that she won't have the same fate but now I feel liberated.

So free as if what I used to think was just manipulation of Henry which gave me a mindset of never loving anyone and if I love anyone that would be fatal for the person but now I feel free from those horrendous thoughts and getting close to Ester but why was he doing this?

What exactly happened?

My memory is vague, only those words of Henry kept echoing in my mind; You killed her.

I shook my head, not wanting to think about it. I waited patiently for Ester, I somehow felt content to have her coming here.

I was tapping my fingers on the table, waiting for her. The door knocked and I thought it would be Ester so I quickly got up and opened the door and the least expected person, Grace was here.

"You. What do you want?" I scoffed. Looking away.

"I told you. You." She smiled.

"I don't even know your name." I mocked. "Leave, don't show your face to me." I said and was about to close the door but she said, "Tamara White." I raised an eyebrow at her, she entered and began to say, "I am Tamara White. Now tell me, even after knowing, what can you do?" She said seductively, walking close to me.

"What do you want?" I growled, getting irritated by her presence here. She is about to come and I don't want her to do something which can affect mine and Ester's relation.

"Hope she will forgive you for loving me." She said suddenly. I opened my mouth to say something but she held my collar and pulled me into a kiss. My eyes widened, I was shocked to react. I didn't understand what just happened. I was left flabbergast.

Before my mind could fathom the outcome of her actions or pushed her away, I heard a broken voice; the scenario I was trying to avoid at all cost and Henry made it real, he broke the ray of trust Ester had in me- He shattered it, taking us to the depth of misery with no sign of redemption, pulling us apart from each other and building such wall between us. When I pushed her away, no one came in between but now when I want to be with her, everything in this universe is trying to take her away from me.

"Desmond..."