D&S

Chapter # 33

Ester, I am trusting the fate which brought me close to you, it shall be my guide from now on. We'll see whether it's gonna take us to the depths of hell or give rise to our salvation.

"Hmm... we came to the rooftop.. now what?" Ester asked coldly. I sighed and leaned on the railing, "How should I make you trust me?" I asked.

"I don't know..." She shrugged. I looked at her in disbelief, utterly baffled by her reaction. "What do you mean by this?" I asked, getting irritated. "I meant what I said." She replied casually.

"Don't give me your delusions." I scoffed, looking away. She gasped when she heard it, "I am not delusional anymore." She argued.

"Then why are you forcing it upon me after you told me yourself that it was not my fault!?" I said exasperatedly. "You know it!" She shouted at me. I opened my mouth to reply but closed it and looked down, "I don't know... what to do. It's lonely without you." I whispered sadly, looking at my hands.

"Desmond." Ester called me sternly and stood in front of me. She put her hand over mine and whispered, "Please..."

"I am trying. I.. don't want to leave you." I spoke in a barely audible tone as my heart broke. A tear stung in my eyes, my mind couldn't help but grief about the situation. My sorrows drowned me in the vast ocean of insecurities.

"I am not leaving you. I only want proof of your innocence." She said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze but I yanked my hand away.

"How am I supposed to do it?! I cannot force myself to love anyone. That was her fault she took her life, I didn't kill her. Please understand." I said desperately as a tear rolled down my cheek.

My chest tightened, I could feel the havoc in my soul, taking me to the abyss with no hopes because my salvation is neglecting me.

"What Henry told you that now you are taking his side?" I asked, holding her shoulders.

"How can you believe him after he lied about Grace's pregnancy. He is playing dirty and you are doing what he wants. Why are you not understanding this simple thing?"

She put her hands over mine and lowered her head. I looked at her hopelessly, panting, wanting her to forgive me and understand the simple thing which took me decades to apprehend that someone's suicide is not my fault.

When she is the one who engraved this in my mind, why is she disregarding it now?

"I need time Desmond... To do what I should. Please..."

When she whispered it in a croaked voice, I quickly let go of her and moved away. The interlude from my redemption turned me ignorant of my own self.

I lost the track of my path, the puzzle is all mixed up now because of my stupid emotions which ruined everything.

Heart was attracted to one purpose; to get her back that's why I couldn't focus on other things and as she said she needed time-

I know I do as well.. to do what I should. I don't have time to cry over the past or my ravage, I need to make things right and find a way to end this.

I quickly backed away from her and looked at her icily. I am sorry. I gave her an emotionless look, raised my head high and spoke in a voice devoid of any emotion,

"Fine then, Ester. Take your time. But remember I won't stop until I break your delusions right under my feet." My voice turned angry with each word I spoke.

"You are not getting it, Desmond. I-" I cut her off.

"Ester, focus on what you should do. We will meet again." I said coldly and walked away.