D&S

Chapter # 34

Ester, I don't deserve you, what have you ever gained by loving a pathetic guy like? Miseries? I am so sorry for hurting you but I don't think a murderer like me deserves to exist in the first place.

It was unexpected from Henry to send something like this to Ester. It was all because I confess I have begun to feel something for Ester and he knows how to make me face the reality that I cannot love anyone. My love is deadly.

I took Ester, she was angry at me and called me a cold bastard; which I am to her. I didn't want to but I have to.

It shocked me when she asked me if I wanted to leave her or not . I was at a loss of words, I wanted to tell her I don't but couldn't.

I wanted to start a normal life with her, but I couldn't. All I could do is to be a heartless bastard.

We reached the La Corte Mansion and went inside the house. I put up a cold front while she smiled widely. Mother and Father saw us and came to us.

"Oh My! Welcome home!" Mother kissed my forehead and then Ester's. She smiled at her and greeted Father.

"Father, Something came up, Ester's gonna live with you guys for a few days." I said in the usual icy tone I used on Ester.

"That would be lovely!" Mother exclaimed with joy.

"Father, we need to talk." I said, he nodded as we left for his studies.

The moment we entered and closed the door, I burst out, "It's all your fault! I told you I don't want to get married and here I am stuck in an undesirable situation!" I ran my hands in my hair, giving off a frustrated vibe.

"Are you going to tell me what happened or not?" He asked with a sigh.

"I told you Henry won't let me love anyone. He doesn't want anyone to have the same fate as Grace. He refrained me from destroying lives and you are pushing me in the fire." I panted as a few tears rolled down my cheek.

"He won't let it, Father..." I cried, taking a seat on the sofa and covering my face with my hands. "I just told him I have begun to like Ester and that's what he did." I showed him the letter.

Ester La Corte,

How's your life with a Devil going? Did he hit you yet? Or perhaps he is eliciting fears in your heart slowly? Breaking you slowly and painfully. You must be miserable. Don't worry, This is just the start. You'll have to suffer more. Now, he has a weakness. I can take advantage of you.

Just like he did with my sister. Breaking her excruciatingly.

The more he breaks you, the more I'm gonna make you desperate. You'll regret marrying in this house. I will make you miserable while he's gonna make you petrified. And you can't do a single thing to save yourself. There's no way for you to find sanctuary. Just you watch how your life is slowly gonna slip away from you because of your beloved husband...

Your Worst Nightmare...

"He will use Ester against me. I cannot love her. I can't. And if Henry told her what happened to Grace... she would leave me." I sobbed, pulling my hair, not knowing what I should do. I don't want to lose her.

"Do you love Ester?" Father asked, taking a seat beside me.

"I DO! That's the problem... I love Ester. But I can't. I have to hate her..." I sniffed and wiped my tears.

"Father she is so innocent, kind and beautiful. She loves me endlessly.I don't want to hurt her but ever since our marriage, I have given her nothing but pain and tears. I love her. I want to love her but I can't... I don't know what I should do anymore.. Henry will never let me love Ester."

I broke into sobs again. I was lost in the bottomless tunnels of devastation where I am breaking apart with no hopes of being saved because the future I have begun to dream with Ester is nothing but a fantasy. Me and Ester cannot be together. I will break her.

"Why don't we try to talk it out?" Father suggested.

"I don't think I can ever tell her about it." I breathe out, forcing my cries to a stop and focus on what I should do.

"It's a warning. It's all my fault. I am sorry Son... I thought you could do it but I was so wrong. I destroyed both yours and Ester's life.. I am so sorry." Father looked down in shame.

"All I can do is to wait for Ester to ask for a divorce and free us." But I never knew I couldn't let her go. Father hummed and I wiped my tears.

"I have to be cautious about it. I cannot show I love Ester. I don't want her to call me a murderer." I looked down.

"And can you bear her hatred?" Father asked. "I.. don't know." And after discussing we came to no final decision but I thought it would be better if me and Ester never became one. My love will intoxicate her as well and I don't want her to lose her life like Grace.

Ester stayed there for the next few days. I came home to pick her up after a while.

"Ester!" Mother called her

"Yes, Mother?" I loved it when she called my Mother- wait, no. You have to hate her. Love cannot exist between you two. She walked down and saw me as she passed me an angelic smile.

Don't smile at me. I don't deserve it.

I truly want to burst out my emotion but only God knows how I am controlling my urges and destruction.

"Looks like, someone can't live without you~" Mother teased.

She blushed as usual and went away with me as I remained quite an asshole but this time, I wanted to hold her so I held her hands and took her with me.

The drive was silent but then Ester spoke up,

"Is everything alright?" Unforeseen words coming from Ester. She is not the person to start a conversation with me first. She never had the courage to do it. I looked at her for a second wanting to tell her nothing was right from the beginning but I sealed my inner voice and replied, "Yeah, everything is fine." She nodded and the drive continued. My one reply is enough to convince her. Nothing is right. Please save me Ester.

"Ester," I called her name and my heart began to beat faster. There was sorrow in my voice. I desperately want to tell her what I am going through, who sent that letter and why but the insecurity inside me is chaining me.

"Yes?" She spoke in her normal soft tone.

"I.." I tried to speak but couldn't find words to start. What will I tell her? What if she hates me? She looked at me. My eyes flicker with ultimate ravage, I was dying to say something but couldn't and it is eating me up. I was burning in a fierce fire of unfathomable thoughts which wanted to confess my feelings. Upon seeing my state of agony, she smiled a little and spoke up,

"Keeping things to yourself will eat you from inside.." And it hurt me. Her words hit me like an arrow; right in the chest. I wish I could tell you.

"I can't." I finally spoke in a hurt tone, knowing I can't tell her what I am going through and what her future holds for her- Misery.

"You don't have to. Just tell me whenever you are ready.." She said reassuringly as I nodded, wanting to forget I almost broke and spill out everything in front of her.